Disclaimer: They are not mine, they are NOT mine, they are SO not mine! Sigh.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to Lady T for filling in for me, for putting up with my oddities and for going above and beyond the call of duty. The girl is a saint! ; )
Logan lifted his head, blinking and looking about him. The room was filled with bright mid-morning light and as his eyes swept over the room quickly. He frowned and growled quietly to himself. He thought for sure he'd heard someone calling his name.
"Logan," the voice called again and he growled louder when he realized it was coming from inside his own head. Shit!
"You know I hate it when you do that," he muttered angrily, then looking quickly about him, he asked, "What time is it?"
Professor Xavier's kind voice calmed his fears. "Don't worry, I have John working your position today, I assumed that you would have a late night."
Logan grunted a thank you, rubbing his hand over his brows.
"Are you alright, Logan?" the Professor asked in a voice filled with concern.
"I'm fine," he answered, not sure exactly what to make of the question.
"Did you finish the book I gave you?"
Logan sniffed, "I'm not sure... I fell asleep."
"Mmm, why don't you finish it and come to see me later to day, when you are ready. Alright?"
"Sure. No problem."
He growled again as he got up to use the bathroom. Living with telepaths was a real bitch and he didn't mind if they knew he thought so.
He finished washing and returned to his bed, frowning as he picked the book up off the bed where he had been remiss enough, in his sorrow, to leave it lying on its open face. He picked up the small folded note and looked the book over carefully. It seemed undamaged and he let out a deep sigh of relief, grateful that he had not accidentally rolled over on it in the night.
As he held it, the memories of the night before hit him full force and he sniffed as he remembered how deeply he had been affected by it. He felt strangely relieved though, as he remembered having cried himself to sleep. It had been a good thing, and he was more at peace with himself than he had been in a long time.
He moved to the desk and placed the book there. He was hungry, but he wanted to see if she had more to say before he returned to the real world, the here and now. He sat down and opened to the page he had just finished and placed the note gently back in place before turning the page.
X~O~X
Joseph came to see me at about mid-morning that day. He looked as if he had been awake most of the night himself. He was very concerned and, as I had suspected he might come, I had taken measures to hide the bruises on my neck and wrists. Of course there was nothing I could do to hide the swelling and bruising on my lip.
I will never know for certain, but I have my suspicions that he saw through my efforts and guessed exactly what had happened. He's never mentioned it, and I am sure he never will, but there was something that I saw in his eyes when I told him that I was going to be fine.
I spent the rest of the day working about the house, canning the fruit and vegetables, crying as I remembered Thomas putting a strawberry to my lips. I never stifled my sorrow and I believe it was good for me to cry it out as I had thoughts of him, as it seemed to get easier every time I did.
I was doing fairly well until two to three weeks after he left when I awoke one morning to find blood on my sheets. I had started my menstrual cycle and I cried bitterly when I realized it. I had not even been aware of it, but I suppose that on some subconscious level I had been hoping that with all those times that his seed had filled my body that I would have become pregnant with his child.
I knew then that he was truly gone, in every way, and the grieving process began afresh.
I saw Joseph at least every other day, as he wished it, and it was good for me to get out of the house -- it was so full of memories. We grew close very quickly, as Thomas had known we would. Joseph is very special, I had known that from the beginning, but it was still some months before I could think of anything but Thomas.
Joseph was patient with me, and it did not escape my notice that he was showing more and more interest as the months went by. When I visited him at the mill, his touch became more frequent and I often looked up to catch him gazing at me with desire in his eyes. He is an extremely attractive man and it was becoming clear that he wanted me, but I guarded my heart closely, not wanting to give away even one tiny corner of it.
I suppose it was about a month ago that I sensed that he was beginning to grow frustrated with me. I was standing in the window of the mill office staring into the street remembering the day that Thomas had galloped off in a cloud of dust. I have no idea how long I stood there before Joseph spoke.
"Elizabeth, it will not do any good, even if you stand there forever."
I swallowed. I knew exactly what he meant. I turned to him slowly as I replied. "He's never coming back, is he Joseph?"
I looked deeply into his eyes, maybe for the first time, and I really saw him when he replied sadly, "No, he isn't ever coming back."
I digested that, and it was odd, but I really did not feel like crying. He walked across the room to me and took my hands in his. "Don't you think it is time to let go of him, to move past it?"
His hands were warm and strong and I stared at them for a long time, then I looked up into his eyes. They were a beautiful dark green and they were filled with need. A slight chill ran up and down my arms and I licked my lips. I took the time to really look at him, and a small surge of guilt rippled through me as I realized that he had been here for months and I was just now seeing him clearly for the first time.
"You are very handsome," I whispered absent-mindedly, wrapped completely in my thoughts.
He smiled. "I have been told that before..." He moved closer. "Elizabeth, I am not used to waiting over four months for the attention of one woman."
I looked up into his eyes, surprised at his words and I gasped as he leaned in and kissed me on the mouth. It was nice, and it lit a small flame inside me. I drew a hand to my lips as he backed away.
He tried to see into my soul with his stare. "I have been offered a position at a law firm in Boston. It is a very prestigious firm and it would place me in a very good position toward my goal of eventually becoming a judge. I promised Thomas that I would take care of you, and I will not break that promise."
I had no idea what to say.
"Elizabeth, he meant for us to be together, he told me that, but that will never happen if you cannot let go of him." He regarded me closely. "I will not take the position if you do not wish me to, but it is my hope that you will choose to go with me. I want you to think it through and let me know what you have decided."
I nodded numbly and swallowed. He leaned in and kissed me again and he lingered there, breathing quickly and capturing my hesitant lips with his again and again. I moaned and began moving my mouth against his, but I was confused at my response to him and I pulled away, unsure.
His eyes were lit up with desire and he sighed and leaned in to whisper hoarsely into my ear, "Please do not make me wait much longer."
I left the office in a daze, but I would swear on a Bible that I heard him chuckling softly as I went.
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