Alpha Male Chapter Twenty-Three - Difficult Choices by LoganLuvr
Ari spent the afternoon with Jean, getting a tour of the school. Jean was really very nice, once you got to know her, Ari could see why Logan was attracted to her... and, of course, she was very beautiful. Ari couldn't help but notice that Jean spent a lot of the afternoon looking at her strangely, and asking her a lot of uncomfortable questions about how she felt about Logan. Ari was not forthcoming with information, and Jean was a little frustrated. Apparently, Logan's blood-work this morning had been very good, and it was a great comfort to her, knowing that he was healthy. She missed him so much.
The school was amazing, and very interesting. She asked Jean lots of questions about the children and their different gifts. She was thankful to know that there were so many people like her, that fit into the world like a square peg in a round hole. She understood why Logan liked to be here, it really made you feel like you were home... with a real family.
The building itself was wonderful, too. Ari loved old buildings, and the books! Professor Xavier had wonderful books... she felt like a child in a candy store. Jean told her that she could take a few and read them and Ari jumped at the chance. There was nothing like a good book to settle your nerves and distract your thought from your troubles. Ari picked a few, and carried them with her as they walked. Eventually it was time to meet with the Professor again. Ari's heart fell, she hoped that this meeting was not going to be as hard as she thought it was going to be. She glanced about nervously, on her way to the office, but she didn't see any sign of Logan... she tapped on the door and went in. The office was filled with Logan's scent. Hot, deep, sweaty, masculine "Logan" wafted through the air, causing her heart to flutter and chills to run through her body. She breathed him in deeply, closing her eyes.
The Professor looked up and smiled warmly, raising his eyebrows at the books she was carrying. " I ... I hope it's okay, ... Jean said that I could borrow them..." He smiled, " Of course, it's fine, Ari! I'm glad to see that someone else is interested in my books. I have a very difficult time getting most of the people here to read. They seem to be able to find the time to do everything but reading. "
Ari walked in and sat down, trying to control her heart. With shaking hands she placed the old books carefully, tenderly, on the chair next to her. " I love... to read," she said softly. " I have quite a collection of old books myself. " He nodded, closing his eyes and wishing that everything that she said did not make him feel more and more disappointed about what he was going to be missing. - Logan, you had better be good to her - , he thought a little bitterly. She looked uncomfortable, and her heart was racing. " Did Logan just leave? I.... can smell him... was he just here?" The Professor shook his head, " He left about an hour ago. " She nodded, swallowing and biting her bottom lip, to stop it from shaking. " What did you find out?, " she asked softly, not sure she wanted to hear the answer, but needing to know desperately.
" Ari, what I "found out" is that Logan is in turmoil... he cannot go on like this much longer." Her eyes widened. " He needs you, and he is fighting hard to control himself, and I think you are going to have to come to some sort of a decision. He knows that you entered his mind. " Her hands flew to her mouth. " I did not tell him that, he tells me he "figured that out" today. He has some memory of what you taught him about himself, and it was inevitable for him to "figure out" that it was you. He needs you desperately, and he is not a patient man by nature. What are you going to do about this, Ari?"
Ari got up out of her chair and started pacing the floor, looking, for all the world, exactly like Logan. The similarities in them were remarkable, but not more-so than their differences. She had no idea what to do with this new information... if he remembered that it was her, he probably did need her, but only because... she couldn't let her mind go there right now. It was obvious to the Professor that she didn't have a clue what to do.
" Ari, it's amazing to me that Logan has let this go on THIS long... I don't know how well you really know the man, but..." Ari broke off his words. " I know I'm hurting him, and I'm sorry, but don't you think that he would prefer this to the alternative? You know him Professor... how do you think he will react, stuck in a relationship...with... when he had no choice in the matter? Do you think he's going to be happy then? I did what I had to do... and now I have to do the same thing. I have to leave, I have to go home." The Professor dropped his head and sighed. " It's the only choice I have... when Logan is close, I can feel him more strongly, if I go far away from him,... perhaps it will be enough to allow him to move on... forget about me.
" Ari, what if he doesn't want to forget about you? Don't you think it should be his choice?" She shook her head, " I took that option away from him.... I'll be leaving tomorrow." She walked to the door, leaving the books, obviously, she wouldn't be getting a chance to read them now. When she reached the door, she turned and looked back at him, her eyes brimming with tears. " Thank you... for everything." Then she was gone.
Logan went to his room after the meeting, he really needed a shower, and time to think. His body was actually sore from his exercise this morning, and he was even a little tired. Maybe he wasn't completely back to his old self yet. He fought the urge to check on Ari as he went by his old room, but he didn't sense that she was near anyway, so that helped him control himself. He knew that his body was on the edge... he needed her badly, and he was having a harder and harder time controlling his animal nature. He chuckled, she would probably say something like " its a perfectly normal reaction for you, Logan... the animal part of you just wants to mate."... and he would say something like..." Yeah, you got that right, Darlin' ...right here, right now. " He grinned and shook his head, he was really going to have to get a grip before he saw her, she was not that kind of girl. She deserved a slow, sensual evening of passion that she would never forget... He felt a shudder run through his body at the thought of the things that he would do to her, if she ever gave him the chance.
He showered slowly, enjoying the heat on his body, and the heat in his mind. If Ari reacted to him anywhere near the way she had reacted to his kiss, he was in for the most enjoyable night of his life... and so was she. His train of thought kept him occupied for some time, and before he knew it, he realized that he was standing there, freezing nearly to death, as he had used up every drop of hot water in the building. He got out and went into his room, he only had one clean shirt and pair of jeans left. He was going to have to do something about his laundry situation this evening.
Hmm... As he dressed, he tried to focus on Ari, but he wasn't having any luck. Her presence was always there, with him, to some degree, but he could feel that she was some distance from him. When he was finished dressing, he went back to the Professor's office to see if he knew where she'd gone... his stomach had been doing flips ever since he'd realized she was gone. He knocked on the door and peeked in.
" Hey, you know where Ari is? She's gone." Professor Xavier smiled shaking his head, he still found it hard to believe that Logan had this strange bond with her.
" I know. She asked to borrow a car, she had some things to buy, I believe. Are you alright?" Logan nodded, " I just wanted to make sure she was okay, ya' know... whatever. Thanks." As he closed the door, the Professor sighed, he wasn't sure if he should tell Logan that Ari was leaving tomorrow or let things follow their own course. It was a difficult situation for both of them, and he hoped that they could resolve it soon.
Logan spent the rest of the evening busying himself with odds and ends. He had dinner with his friends and had a nice conversation with Rogue. He was surprised that Ari hadn't returned yet, and his stomach was in knots over it, but he figured he'd just talk to her tomorrow if she came back really late. He was in a constant state of arousal at this point, thanks to his thought-provoking shower... and he was edgy, claustrophobic. He went out to have a cigar, hoping Ari would get home before he finished, but she didn't so he went to bed, feeling extremely disappointed with the day. He stripped off his clothes, laying them over a chair, and climbed into bed, stretching and then relaxing his tired muscles. He reached over and grabbed a pillow, holding it tightly against his chest, hoping that if he thought about her long enough he might dream about her. He was asleep in minutes.
Ari had realized shortly after deciding to go home, that she had a whole lot of beautiful new clothes and nowhere to put them. They had been in such a hurry to get Logan here, that all she had was a duffle-bag. She had needed some new luggage anyway, so she asked to borrow a car and went shopping again. She had never been a big shopper before, but it proved to be a welcome diversion from dealing with the situation with Logan. She had been thinking a lot about going home, and it struck her that Logan would probably just come after her. His truck was still at her cabin, and that would be a great excuse for him to show up, so she decided to rent a car, and take a little road trip. It would be nice to see a little scenery on the way home, and it would give her plenty of time to think about her future and exactly where it was headed. It was almost impossible for her to think of a future that did not include Logan, every time she thought about it tears stung her eyes immediately. She didn't know how she could possibly live without him, and she, again, cursed the fact that she could make him forget but not herself.
She got home late, and it proved to be quite a challenge getting her new luggage in quietly. She felt for Logan's presence and smiled when she knew he was asleep. She couldn't stop herself from picturing him lying in his bed. He was so beautiful, she knew that was something she would never forget, either.
Ari packed her clothes carefully, it was fun to take her new things out and look at them. The Professor had complimented her on the black outfit, her face reddened. He had been quite taken with it, and that was nice to know. She finished packing and set her luggage by the door, sighing. It was almost over. This time tomorrow she would be in a hotel somewhere far from Logan. She couldn't help wondering how it would feel, being far from him... she was sure it was going to be very difficult for her, but she wondered what it would do to Logan. She didn't want to cause him any more pain than she had already. She stripped her clothes off and got into her bed, picking up her " Logan" pillow and hugging it tightly. She sighed, remembering that last night she had thought THIS was going to be the hardest day of her life. Now she knew that tomorrow was going to make this look like a piece of cake.
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