Disclaimer: Lena, Caleb, Annie, assorted bar patrons and fastfood clerks are the products of my fevered imagination. Everyone else in the story is property of Marvel. Uncredited song lyrics are from the Golden Palominos.
"Hi Henry. Sorry I'm late."
"That's alright, Lena. Go ahead and hop up on the scale." After sliding the balances around, Henry let out a low whistle. "You've gained another pound, Lena. Good work."
"Well, thanks I guess. Are you sure it's okay for me to be gaining weight this rapidly? I don't want it to all be fat."
"Well, that's where you and I differ then. You're currently at about," he consulted his chart, "twelve percent body fat and that's still dangerously low. We need to get you up to at least eighteen percent as soon as we can."
"I don't think it's going to be hard. I'm still hungry all the time. I'm eating more than Caleb does and that's no mean feat. He turned into a walking stomach when he hit fourteen."
"Believe me, we've suffered through the appetites of several dozen teenaged mutants. We're lucky the house is still standing."
"I've seen them at meals. It's like watching the Discovery Channel. Of course, now I'm part of the show, beating 'em over the head with a tray to get my hunk o' meat."
"Don't worry about it, Lena. Your body is just seeking out equilibrium. I'm sure that when you get closer to a healthy weight, the hunger will calm down. Have you noticed any other differences or problems?"
"I still don't sleep well but it seems to affect me less. I feel like I'm higher-strung than I was before but that could just be the caffeine. I wasn't drinking any while I was sick, and now I'm back up to two pots a day."
"I think you might want to consider cutting out the caffeine."
"Aw come on everybody's got to have one vice. I figure it's better than crack-cocaine."
"At those levels, I'm not so sure. Could you try to cut down to one pot a day?"
"For you, Henry? Sure." She smiled. "Oh, I've also noticed that I've been getting little anxiety attacks."
"Tell me about them."
"It's nothing really, I'll just be talking to someone and I'll start to feel kind of nervous and my heart will start beating like crazy."
"Who's the lucky fellow, Lena?"
"What? A. Oh, it's not like that, of course. I just well it's probably just the caffeine again."
Hank narrowed his eyes a bit but let it go. Lena's love life was her own business after all, he thought. "Well, see if cutting down on the caffeine helps at all. Now," he paused knowing he was going into dangerous territory, "I'd like to get another full-body scan. So I'll need to put you in the MRI machine."
"Henry, do we have to? I hate it in there." She hugged her arms around her middle and furrowed her brow.
"I promise, Lena I'll go as fast as I can. If it gets to be too much, just say the word and I'll get you back out. I wouldn't ask if it didn't need to be done. I've let you get through the last two check-ups without it."
She nodded, went over to the machine and climbed up onto the bed of it. He set the controls and the bed slid into the belly of the machine. Everything went well until Lena opened her eyes. Try as she could, she couldn't stop the fear that threatened to drown her. She screamed and beat at the inside of the chamber. She pushed her mind into the machine's computer control and started breaking it down. As soon as the bed was far enough out that she could squeeze out of it she leapt clear of it and ran to cower in a corner.
Sparks and smoke were coming out of the machine, prompting Hank to shut the power down before running over to her.
"sso ssorry, Henry," she sniffled through her tears.
He sighed and held her as she cried. "It's going to be alright, Lena. Don't worry about it." At that moment, the bed of the machine creaked and fell to the floor. Henry winced. "We'll, uh, simply get another MRI machine. Perhaps we can get a volume discount."
Lena couldn't hear him. All she could hear was the soft hum of the machine, the old one, the rig. The cage she had lived in for three years. She didn't think she'd ever get the image of the rig out of her mind. Or the image of what it had done to her.
------------------------
"I don't know, sweetheart. We can keep moving it around if you want but I think it's gonna be glare city anywhere else in the room."
"No, jou can keep movin' it 'round the room. I'm sittin' on my ass until the little princess here decides for sure." Caleb parked himself on the desk he and Lena had been moving around the room.
"I'm not a little princess!"
"Jou ain't an interior decorator either, but that ain't stopping you from driving us nuts!"
"Well I just want it to be in the right place."
"Okay Annie, how about this? We keep the desk here for now. If you want to change it later, we'll change it."
"Okay. Where do you think we should put the dresser?"
"Oh c'mon Princess Annie! What the hell is wrong with where the dresser is now?"
"If you call me princess one more time, I'm telling Jubilee about Mister Fluffy."
Before Caleb could counter, Lena jumped in, "Alright you two; that's enough. Caleb, don't swear at your sister and for God's sake, stop calling her princess. Annie, don't threaten your brother. Now can we get back to moving here? I'd like to get this done before I die."
The intercom buzzed, "Lena, are you there? This is Jean."
Lena leaned over and punched the button on the speaker. "Yeah Jean, I'm here. What is it?"
"You didn't show up for the session and I was worried. Is everything okay?"
"I'm sorry Jean. I'm up here moving furniture and trying to prevent World War Three. I guess I lost track of time."
"Well I'm sure you're all still trying to settle in. Why don't we try again tomorrow? Say 10:30?"
"In the morning?"
"Yes, is that okay?"
"Uh, sure Jean. I'll see you in the study, right?"
"Yes, perfect, I'll see you then."
"Great." Lena let go of the button and looked down for a moment before looking back at the kids.
"How come you didn't go to your counseling session?"
"Oh, I don't know, Annie. I already had an appointment with Henry today and I just didn't feel like getting poked anymore."
"But jour gonna go tomorrow, right?"
She studied her fingernails for a bit before replying. "Probably."
"Lena!" Both kids yelled at her in unison.
"What? I'll go. . . I'm going, okay? Jeeze, I guess if you two think I need counseling, I probably need counseling."
"It ain't like that and you know it. You been through a lot, anybody been through what you have, oughta at least check in with a shrink. Ain't no big thing."
"It's really not bad, sis. It's only scary the first time. I swear."
Lena ruffled her sister's hair. "Well thanks, Annie. I'll try to keep that in mind. Don't worry about me, guys. I'll be fine. I'm just not good at that sort of thing. You know that."
"Jeah we know that. That's why we gotta keep you honest."
She smiled at her brother and chucked him lightly on the chin. "What would I do without you two?"
"Whoo, that's too scary to even think about, hermana."
Lena turned back to her sister. "So Annie, you're not scared of the sessions anymore?"
"Nope. Professor Xavier is really nice. And he tickles." Annie giggled.
"He tickles you?"
"No, when he's in my mind it tickles."
Lena stiffened a bit but she kept her voice steady. "I see. Does he use telepathy a lot?"
"Not as much anymore. That's probably because it's been getting easier for me to talk to him. He knows a lot about mutations. Did you know that I'm not the first precogonative he's ever heard of?"
"That's precognitive, squirt."
"Whatever," Annie stuck her tongue out at her brother. "You know what I meant anyway. But it's really neat, the stuff he's teaching me. I wish I could show you my journals but the Professor says I shouldn't show them to anyone."
"That's okay Annie. I'm glad it's working for you." Lena looked at her brother and sister briefly before staring out the window. "So how are we doing, guys? Is this a good place for us? You both feel okay about being here?"
"It's good, Lanie. I like it here."
"Jeah, we all finally got our own bedrooms. Can't beat that."
"You guys don't get lonely at night?"
"I'm a little bit too old for that, Lanie."
"Yeah, and even if he got lonely, he still has Mister Fluffy."
"You go ahead and keep that up, squirt. Someday, somebody you like might have to hear about Mt. Fuji."
"That wasn't my fault! There weren't any bathrooms! Lanie, tell him he can't tell anybody about that."
"Oh God you two, cut it out already. Alright, this is because we're spending too much time talking instead of working." She glanced at her watch. "Okay, I want this room completely finished in a half hour. Then I want you two getting ready for bed. So let's get moving double-time. Caleb, go get the posters from my room. Annie, I want you to take a good look around the room and make sure everything's where you want it to be, okay?"
"Yes, Lanie."
"Jeah, Lanie."
After Caleb left the room, Annie asked Lena, "Do you get lonely at night?"
"It's funny, I guess I've just gotten used to hearing other people breathing while I sleep."
"Well if you want, sometimes, if you're lonely, I don't mind if you sleep with me. It could be like a slumber party."
"Thank you, Annie." Lena closed her eyes and concentrated on stopping the tears from flowing. "Did you know that you're the best sister I've ever had?"
"Yeah, you told me that."
"Well it's true. So, what do you think? Is the room okay this way?"
"Yeah. I like it."
"Good. Why don't you go ahead and start brushing your teeth while Cay's getting the rest of the stuff?"
"Okay"
After Annie left the room, Lena wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. She looked out at the night sky and sent a prayer to whoever would listen, for herself, for the kids and for their new home.
-----------------------------------
"Hi there, Mister Logan."
"Hey Annie. Ya know you can just call me Logan if ya want. We're friends right?" He flashed her a quick smile and went back to tuning the Harley's engine.
"Okay, Logan." She stood for a bit and watched him work.
When Logan finished with the engine, he looked back up at her and asked her, "Is there somethin' I can help ya with punkin?"
She pulled out the origami crane that she had been holding behind her back. "This is for you."
"Well I'll be. Ain't that pretty. Let me wash my hands there, darlin'. Don't want ta mess it up."
She obediently followed him as he put the tools away and walked over to the utility sink. As he was drying his hands, she noticed him looking at Lena's bike.
"She's gonna let you ride it."
"Think so, huh?"
"No I saw it."
"Oh well then, thanks for the advance notice." He squatted down to be eye-level with the girl. "Let's take a good look at this now." He took the crane from Annie and examined it with care. "That's a fine crane, Annie. I like the paper too. Thank you."
"You're welcome mm Logan." She blushed with pride.
"What'd I do to deserve this anyway?"
"That's for saving Lena."
"Oh, well, uh, yer welcome, Annie." He looked at her thinking how hard it must have been for her when Lena had gone missing. She returned his gaze. Her eyes held a lot of pain for someone so young. Thinking about it all caused a thought to cross his mind. "Did you see Lena that night in the alleyway?" Annie bit her lip and looked away. "You did didn't you? But you didn't have time to warn her."
"I tried to call her all night. Then, I just started trying to find the alleyway. By the time I got there, police were everywhere and there was blood all over the place."
"You thought she was dead. That's why ya tried why ya got so sad, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Well I'm glad it all worked out, darlin'" He gave her a big hug. "I'd hate like heck to have lost either o' you." She hugged him back for a moment then ran off. He headed up to his room to drop the crane off before it got messed up.
Lena saw him in the hallway. "Is that one of Annie's cranes?"
"Yeah. She did a good job on it."
"Cranes are her best animal. That's what she's been doing for the longest." She grabbed his arm. "Come here, I want to show you something." She opened the door to her room and beckoned him in.
Logan was surprised to see that Lena's room was neat and spare. He had expected it to be like the lab, barely controlled chaos. A low bed was covered in a burgundy, velvet comforter. A moss green, chenille blanket was neatly folded at the bottom of the bed. The furniture was black and slightly rounded. Like Lena, herself, the room smelled of cinnamon and vanilla.
"Wow, Lena, I can't believe you decorated the lab and this room."
"I don't mind clutter in the lab but I can't have it in my bedroom. I got enough trouble sleeping as it is." She walked over to the dresser and picked up the glass display dome that sat on it. "This is Annie's first crane. She gave it to me."
It was slightly crooked and a few smudged fingerprints decorated the wings. Despite all of that, Lena held it out as if she wouldn't have been prouder of the Mona Lisa.
"Ya really care about those kids, don'tcha?"
"They're my life." She put the dome back down on the dresser. "It's kind of funny; everyone thinks I saved them. I think they saved me. I don't know what would've happened to me if they hadn't been in my life."
"Yeah, kids're like that."
Surprised by his words, she looked back into his eyes. "You know what I'm talking about, don't you?"
"There's been plenty of times in my life that, if it had been just me, well, I'da probably gone out swingin' but I'da gone out. Sometimes havin' somebody to take care of saves you from giving up on yourself."
She nodded her head. "Yeah, that's a big part of it. And that's not even all of it. Those kids are my family. I'm somebody's sister. I never in a million years thought I'd get that. Now I get to be with them and they're just so full of light. Have you ever heard Annie laugh?"
"Nope. Know she has a great smile though."
"Yeah she does have a great smile, but her laugh, man, it's like sunlight. And Caleb, he's just such a smart-ass. He could make me laugh at a funeral. If it weren't for those two, I wouldn't know how to cook or fly a kite or whistle, and," she smiled wryly, "I wouldn't be able to swear in Spanish."
Logan laughed and smiled at her. "Do ya figure Caleb got his sense of humor from you or the other way around?"
"Hard to say, we've been hanging around each other for too long."
"Either way, it's good that you can still laugh. Lotta people in your shoes would'a let themselves get bitter."
"Oh, I'm still plenty bitter. I just Kovacs took so much from me. There are so many things that I'm never gonna have and I just don't want to give him everything. He's not gonna get my little bits of joy, not my family, not my songs, not you, none of it; that's mine. If I let what he did to me stop me from laughing, if I gave up hope, it would be like letting him win. I'm not gonna let him win, not after all this time."
"Yer somethin' else ya know that?"
"What do you mean, Logan?"
"Nothin', yer just good is all. I'm glad yer here."
"Well, ya know what? I think I'm startin' to be glad I'm here too."
He brushed a stray hair from her face and smiled at her. He was enjoying being with her so much that he didn't want to try anything. He was afraid to spook her again. She'd been through so much in the short time he had known her, he figured she needed some time to get her bearings. He could wait, for a while anyway.
"I'm gonna go put my present in a safer place. I'll catch ya later, Lena."
"Sure, Logan." She smiled as he left the room.
-----------------------------------
"So, Lena, how are you doing?" Jean prompted.
"Fine, well better than fine. Better than I've ever felt before, actually. It's kind of funny how strange that feels."
Lena stood at the window, looking out onto the grounds. The sky that she could see through the rain-beaten pane was gray. Jean was curled up in a wing chair near the fire, a notepad balanced on her lap. They were alone in the study. Lena paced back to the front of the fireplace and retrieved the teacup and saucer she'd placed on the mantel.
Since it was the first session of counseling, Jean wasn't sure what to expect. She felt hamstrung by her inability to reach Lena psychically, but she knew the woman needed her help. Jean prompted again, "What feels strange about it?"
"Imagine that you've been walking around with this hundred-pound weight on your back and you've been doing it for years. Then one day, somebody takes the weight away." Lena took a sip of her tea. "Sure, it feels good but you've really gotten used to the extra weight. Now you have to relearn everything without it. You walk differently and stand differently and you're so much faster than you were before. Does that make any sense?"
"Sure. What kind of differences have you noticed since the operation?"
"I'm hungry all the time. I have trouble sitting still. I have trouble sleeping. But none of it seems to slow me down. My powers are stronger than they've ever been. Henry has me helping out in the infirmary. Yesterday, I healed one broken collarbone, three second-degree burns, assorted cuts and bruises and a nasty migraine. Before the operation, that would have put me out for a week. Now," she stared into the fire, "it's not even enough to tire me out. I couldn't even sleep. I ended up riding my bike down every twisting backroad that I could find. I didn't get back here 'til three o'clock. Then I slept for three hours and I felt fine."
"What you're experiencing isn't uncommon for a mutant. Our metabolisms are much stronger than normal human ones. Usually, the difference kicks in over time, but for you, since it all happened at once, I'm sure it is very disorienting. It's going to take you some time to get used to it but you will."
"I hope so. I think it's starting to drive the kids nuts." Lena offered wryly, smiling at Jean.
"I think the kids are happy enough just to have you back and healthy again. How are they adjusting to life here at the mansion?"
"Good, I think. It's hard for me to tell. I can tell what they're feeling. I just don't always know why. They've both been through so much and they both think they have to be strong for me."
"I wonder where they learned that from?" Jean prodded Lena.
"Ha, yeah, guilty as charged. I guess I always think being strong for them will protect them from all of the ugliness out there." Lena smiled bitterly into the fire. "It sure didn't work for Annie."
"Lena, Annie's dealing with a lot of pain. I know you don't believe it but you've done a lot of good for her. She would have been lost a long time ago if it hadn't been for you."
"Yeah but when I compare that to what the Professor's been able to do in such a short time. I don't know. It just doesn't seem to measure up. I don't even kid myself that we were better off on our own. Annie and Caleb can get more here than I could have ever given them alone."
"You have to stop beating yourself up about this, Lena. Yes, we can help you, all three of you. But nothing we do will ever change the bond between you. You saved them first." Jean took a sip of tea before going on. "That's important to you, isn't it? Saving people, helping people?"
"Are you going to tell me there's something wrong with helping people?"
"No, but I do find it interesting that your first reaction to the question was defensive."
Lena laughed and flashed a wide grin, "See, Jean, I knew you didn't need that telepathy crap to be good at this."
"You still haven't answered the question."
"Okay, yes, I like to help people. Or more precisely, I'm driven to help people. When I was in the Program, I hurt a lot of people. If you take a look at my karmic tally, I'm pretty deep in the red."
"Lena, you were only a child when you were in the Program. You can't"
"Can't what? Hold myself responsible? Jean, I wasn't a child. I was a teenager and I" Lena's voice cracked as the images flooded her mind. She saw all of the bodies and the blood, the lifeless eyes of a corpse being dragged away to make room for the next subject. Above all, she remembered her own desire to get on to the next experiment. "I enjoyed it. I was good at it. I used to laugh at the other techs 'cause they were so jealous of me. It took me a long time to realize that what I was doing was wrong and by then, well by then, I was trapped."
"Lena, feelings like yours are common after such experiences but part of you has to know that you weren't responsible for what happened in the Program. We can work through this. It will be better for you and the kids if you can come to terms with your past."
"Oh, subtle, Jean. Use the kids why don't ya."
"I don't have to be subtle." Jean smiled at Lena over the rim of her teacup. "I know it's going to work."
Lena sniffed out a laugh and looked back into the fire. "Yeah, but not today. I've had enough therapy. We can pick this up at the next session, okay?"
"So, I take it that means there will be a next session?"
"Yeah, well, the kids and all. Ya know?" Lena smiled at Jean.
"How about next week, same time?" Jean asked with her pencil poised over her planner.
"Sure." Lena squeezed Jean's shoulder. "Thanks for everything."
"It's going to be okay, Lena. If you ever want to talk, you know you don't need to wait for a regular session, right?"
Lena nodded. "I'll keep that in mind." With a short smile, Lena left the room.
Jean stayed in the study and completed her notes on the session. She caught a few stray thoughts coming from the hallway.
"Why don't you just come in and sit down, Logan? I know you're out there." Jean asked without raising her voice or her eyes.
"Jeeze, Jean. You telepaths know how to make us professional sneaks feel like we ain't cuttin' the mustard. Ya know that?" Logan took the chair across from Jean and sat lightly on the edge of the seat.
"Does everyone hate telepaths now? Why didn't anyone tell me sooner?"
"Nah, nobody could hate you, Jeannie. Yer too damn pretty."
Jean stopped writing, looked up at Logan and spared him a smile. "I know you're worried about her, but I can't talk about the session. You know that."
"Yeah, well, I wasn't expectin' a play-by-play. I was just hoping you could tell me how it went generally?"
Jean shook her head but responded. "Generally, it went well, Logan. She's been through a lot but she's very resilient. If she can get used to not being sick anymore and start to feel like this is her home, I think she'll be fine."
"So there won't be any problem with her working on me tomorrow?"
"Oh no, I don't think so. We've been drilling on the procedures for the last few days. So far, everything seems pretty straightforward." Jean looked up at her friend. "You are worried about her, aren't you?"
"Don't it seem like she's taking on an awful lot fer somebody who's still supposed to be recovering from major surgery? I know she feels guilty about what happened. I just don't want her to push herself too hard to make it up to me."
"Well don't worry. At least, don't worry about the session. Henry and I wouldn't let her do it if we weren't both convinced she could handle it. If you were worried, why didn't you talk to her?"
"'Cause she'd lie anyway. You saw what she did when she got here. She knew what she was doing could kill her and she kept going anyway. She wouldn't think twice about lying to get a chance to help someone."
"Ha! Takes one to know one, Logan."
Logan's lips pulled up to approximate a grin but the smile never made it to his eyes. He stared into the fire. "Anyway, I think I make her nervous."
"It's going to take her some time to sort out her feelings for you. She just spent the last fifteen years believing that she'd left you for worse than dead. And she was just a scared kid back then; now she's a grown woman. That's got to change the way she sees you."
Or maybe not, Logan thought grimly.
"No, that's not true. She doesn't see you as a big brother or a father figure, believe me."
"Hey now, I didn't say that out loud. Anyway, how do you know? I thought you couldn't read her mind?"
"You thought it pretty loud, Logan. I can't read her mind but I can catch thoughts she projects. Her feelings for you run pretty deep. Just give her some time."
"So when did she"
"No, I'm not saying another word." Jean held up her hands as she got out of the chair. "That's more than I should have told you anyway. I just can't stand to see you look so disheartened." She cuffed him lightly on the shoulder as she passed him.
He caught her hand and squeezed it. "Thanks Jeannie. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then."
"You bet." Jean continued on her way out of the study.
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"Okay, let's get the due diligence over with." Lena was still setting up as she spoke.
He was sitting across from her wearing black track pants and a dark-gray tank. She had told him to dress comfortably. Jean looked on from a control booth nearby; she would be monitoring the whole session. Lena prepped her arm and gave herself a sedative shot. He watched her intently.
She looked up into his gaze and grinned. "I can assure you I'm not really a junkie. I just look like one."
"I know ya aren't. I sure as hell wouldn't be lettin' ya muck around with my insides if I thought ya were."
"Of course you would know, what am I thinking? Okay, back to the diligence. We're going to start with one three-hour session every other day. That shouldn't drain either of us too much. If you get any headaches or visual disturbances at any time, you need to let Henry or me know immediately. I will be using music for the sessions. I tried to pick stuff that you would like. If ya hear something you don't like, let me know. It might interfere with my work and I'd just as soon avoid that. While I'm working, you may find yourself moving or talking without meaning to. That's me. Please try not to freak out because you could hurt me. You may want to try meditating during the session. The more relaxed you are, the easier it'll be for me. Your metabolism may get a bit wonky. That's why I've got the heat up in here. I've also got some Snickers bars for us after we're done in case our sugar levels get too low. Do ya like Snickers bars?"
"Rather have a Power bar or somethin' that ain't pure sugar."
"Even though those things taste like used gum?" He cocked an eyebrow at her and she held up her hands. "Hey, I'm just trying to lighten the tension here. You can have anything ya want, Power bars or carrot sticks or peanut butter bonbons for all I care. Ya just can't go fainting halfway down the hallway. I'm sure as hell not gonna pick ya up."
"Power bar," he reiterated dryly.
"Right, make a note Jean. Power bars for the gentleman. I'll stick with the pure sugar; thank you very much."
Jean nodded her head but didn't want to speak because she was afraid she'd laugh. Lena's sense of humor was a coping mechanism but that didn't stop her from actually being pretty funny.
"You may have strange dreams and I might be in them. It's just a side effect of the process. They'd most likely have some sort of maze or path-finding theme."
"So you'd be the woman of my dreams then?"
"Yeah, your really freaky maze dreams."
"How do ya know yer not in my dreams already?" He flashed her a lazy smile.
"That's enough, Romeo. Can we get back to the subject here?"
"You wanted to talk about dreams."
"Whatever. I think that's everything I had to say, anyway. You ready?" She held her hand out to him.
"I was born ready, darlin'." He took her hand and the session got underway to the strains of Sway by the Rolling Stones.
---------------------------------
Pain like fire coursed through his body. He tensed and curled into a ball. A roar of agony escaped his lips. Terrible sensation buzzed through his arms and legs. Nothing would make it go away. His ribs, his skull ached and throbbed. The contents of his stomach lurched sickeningly.
<"shhh, big guy, you gotta relax or I can't take the pain away. C'mon now, let me take care of you.">
The voice came from inside his head. He tried to relax but pain clenched his body like a fist. Eventually, as he calmed down, the pain started to ebb.
The voice in his head continued on in a gentle singsong. <"There ya go. That's a good man. Nice and easy, you just keep breathing deep and slow. I'll take care of you.">
"Who are you?" Logan looked around the room for the first time. It was bare, white and nearly empty. He was lying on a gurney. Next to him were a few medical monitors. He couldn't see any other people.
<"You you can hear me?">
----------------------------------
She was getting ready for bed when he knocked on her door.
"Good Lord, Logan! Are you okay?"
As if in answer to her question, he collapsed into her arms. She helped him over to her bed.
"Okay, big guy. Sit down here for a second and let me take a look at you." She wrapped her hand lightly around the side of his neck and looked into his eyes. The heartbeat was elevated but not erratic. Blood pressure was high but not abnormal. The problem seemed to be a disturbance of the visual cortex that knocked the balance centers off kilter. It was just the sort of thing that would leave him reeling. She quickly made an adjustment to the balance centers in his ears to compensate for the visual problems. "There, how's that? Better?"
Logan took a moment to blink his eyes and move his head, checking to see how steady he felt. "Better." He said with a short nod. He ran a hand through his wild hair and sank forward, resting his forearms on his knees. "What the hell happened to me?"
"That was a visual disturbance." She said with a soft smile. "It's nothing to worry about. Just next time; don't try to walk all the way over here. Buzz me on the intercom and I'll come to you." She smoothed his hair back from his face and hugged his head lightly. Two strong arms wrapped around her hips and held onto her. She didn't have the heart to pull away. She rubbed his shoulders as he held her. "It's okay, Logan. It's gonna be fine."
Eventually, she climbed into a robe and walked him down to the kitchen. Once she was sure that he was going to be able to hold himself upright in the chair, she went to work at the stove.
"Why'd it happen?"
"It has to do with how the original memory blocks are set up. A lot of them are tied into the vision centers. It's a good sign. Some of your memories are probably coming back online."
"Well, I had a dream, more like a nightmare, really. It felt like a memory."
She paused from stirring for a second and looked back at him. "Tell me about it."
"It was well, I think it was the first time I met you. You were just a voice in my head. I woke up in a lab. I didn't have any idea where I was but I was definitely in a lot of pain and you you took all of the pain away. When I tried to talk to you, you were surprised."
"Yeah, I sure was. You weren't supposed to be able to hear me in the first place and in the second place, the Weapon X people said that you weren't capable of speech. So you can imagine I wasn't expecting to have a conversation with you."
"Why wasn't I capable of speech?"
She shook her head and brushed the hair from her face. "That was just after the adamantium bonding process. They couldn't get your body to stop rejecting the metal. Those stubborn cells I was talking about before. That's how you ended up getting sent to us. Your immune system was trying to filter out metal that was suffused in your bones. Pain level was like going through a bone marrow transplant every day. It made you a little grouchy." She lifted her eyebrows and cocked one side of her mouth in a smile.
"Berserker rage?"
"They called it a feral state. When we got you, you hadn't responded verbally for about a week. They assumed you never would again."
"You never told them about me talking. You kept it a secret."
"Well yeah, I was afraid they'd try to wipe your mind if they found out you were still in there. So I showed you how to talk to me in your head and that was the beginning of our beautiful friendship."
"So that was real? That's a memory?"
"Sure is. Congratulations, Logan." She set a mug in front of him on the table.
He sniffed at the contents cautiously. "What is this?"
"The Jones family traditional nightmare cure."
He stared at her skeptically.
"It's just hot milk with vanilla and cinnamon and a little bit of sugar. It'll help you get back to sleep."
"What is it with you and vanilla and cinnamon?"
"I just like the way they smell." She paused for a moment and looked up at him wide-eyed. "Oh jeeze. Am I drivin' you nuts with that? I mean does the smell bother you? I can stop wearing it if you don't like it. It'll probably take a while to fade out of everything."
"Whoa, whoa there, girl. I didn't say I didn't like it. I just said I noticed it."
"So then it doesn't bug you?"
"Nope, just makes ya smell sweeter. Not that you need any help." He grinned at her and she rolled her eyes but returned the smile.
"Well if yer flirtin' I guess you must be feeling better." She looked down at him. His hair was sticking up everywhere. Still she could make out the distinctive points that rose up directly above and behind his ears. He hadn't changed a bit. Still looked just as perfect as he did back then. He watched her as she regarded him.
"Like what you see?"
"'Course I do. I'm lookin' at one of my best friends ever. I really never did think I'd see you again, Logan."
"Yeah well, world's a funny place sometimes."
"This kind of funny, I don't mind."
"Me neither." He grabbed her hand and tugged her closer.
Before she knew what was happening, she found herself sitting in his lap. He hugged her tightly, tucking his head into the curve of her neck. She giggled and squirmed against him.
"All right ya big stinker, let me go."
"Ya just got here. Stay a while." He smiled into her eyes and brushed the hair away from her face. His hand stayed on her cheek.
She smiled but gently pulled his hand away from her face and climbed off of him. "Logan, we should talk." She pulled a chair closer to him and sat down.
"Why do I have a feelin' I'm not gonna like what I hear?"
"Look, we've been thrown together pretty hard these last few weeks. Now we're working really closely together and I just don't want you to get the wrong idea."
"An' what's that?"
"That you and me well that there's gonna be a you and me. I mean, I'm always gonna care about you. I love you, Logan. I have since I was thirteen but it's not I can't this isn't going to be some kind of romance. It just can't be."
"Yer tellin' me ya just wanna be my friend?" He looked into her eyes; a barely suppressed smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.
"Yeah."
"No ya don't. Now why would you lie about somethin' like that? You ought to know I can tell."
Her eyes widened and she shifted them away from his gaze. "Logan, I don't know what kind of signals yer getting but they're false. Maybe that's from the surgery."
"Nah, I don't think so. Look, Lena, I know you've been through hell and then some lately. I can understand why that's got ya feelin' all mixed up. But believe me, I'm not in any big hurry. Time's different when you've been around as long as I have." He grabbed her hands gently in his own. "We can go as slow as you want."
She sighed and lowered her head. "I don't want to go slow, Logan. I don't want to go at all. Don't you get it?"
"I get that yer tellin' me yer not attracted to me even though I know you are. I get that yer not givin' me the full story here. Anything else you want me to get?"
She sighed, slumped forward in her chair, and cradled her head in defeat.
He chuckled softly at her. "Tell ya what, Lena. I'll make you a deal. You say that yer signals are all haywire. I say that you just need some time. We both think it has to do with the surgery. Why don't we just wait until Hank gives you a clean bill of health before we worry about any of this. Once yer fully recovered, we'll both know who was right. Whaddya say? Deal?"
"Sure but yer just gonna see that I was right."
"I'll take that chance, darlin" Once again he brought his hand up to her cheek and cupped it around her jaw line.
Before she realized what she was doing, she instinctively bent her head into his hand. She gazed up into his eyes and caught the smug expression stealing over his face. She pulled his hand away and straightened up. "Hey, I thought you said we weren't gonna start anything until I was recovered."
"Nah, we agreed not to worry about it. I didn't say I'd stop lobbying for my side."
"You know it doesn't mean anything when I do stuff like that. That's just the way my power works, skin contact's always going to affect me that way."
"I don't know, Lane." He grabbed her hand again, held it in one hand while he drew the fingers of his other hand across her palm. He continued drawing faint circles with his fingers as he spoke, "I think there's a whole lot o' territory between what you think it means an' what I think it means." He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed the palm softly, keeping her eyes locked with his the whole time. "I'm willin' to bet that the truth is closer to the middle ground than you think."
For a moment, she was spellbound. Then, in an act of sheer will she shook her head and stood up to leave. "Drink your milk. Go to bed. I'll see you in the morning." She grumbled as she passed him on the way out.
"Ya sure will."
He was glad he'd talked to Jean. He wouldn't have been quite so confident without having her opinion to back him up. Now that he was sure what Lena was feeling, it was just a matter of seeing how long she would hold those feelings back. And he didn't mind having to persuade her. Hell, he was looking forward to that.
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