Reaching Out
Chapter 2: Revelations
by
Catlover
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Marvel owns the X-men lock, stock and barrel. I'm only using them for my sick purposes and them cleaning them off and placing them back on the shelf.
*Italics are thoughts.
Today, during breakfast in the main eating area, Bobby, or "Iceman" as some people called him, asked Rogue out on a date for the first time. In plain view of everyone, Rogue accepted his invitation to the formal dance being held that night in the large banquet hall. Later that night, when the music started, Rogue was forced to dance her first waltz with Bobby because Logan was no where to be found. As the melody played, Bobby held her too close for comfort and, in general, was overly eager as only a teenage boy can be. Later that night, Bobby and Rogue secreted away and walked through the mansion's quiet halls. The night had been formal and Rogue was wearing baby doll gloves and a short-sleeved, modest gown. With Bobby standing so close, Rogue's bare arms made her feel uncomfortable. Even though Bobby was wearing a tux, Rogue feared the consequences of a single touch. Bobbie held on tightly to Rogue's gloved hand. Pulling her along, Bobby led Rogue to a secluded part of the Mansion. After turning a corner, without warning, Bobby pulled Rogue into a close embrace. Rogue struggled while she felt Bobby's hands running up and down her back. Rogue begged, "It isn't safe! I could hurt you." Undaunted, Bobby held on and said, "Only if we have skin-to-skin contact, right Rogue?" With lightening quick movements, Bobby placed a hand on Rogue's covered breast. Rogue grabbed Bobby's hand and tried to push it away. "No, don't do this, please," she implored. Bobby squeezed Rogue's breast and tried to convince her. "Rogue, you're so beautiful. I've liked you since the first time I saw you. I just want us to be close. Please, Rogue." Rogue continued to struggle with Bobby. "I don't want to do this, Bobby. Please stop." Bobby never got a chance to respond to that last entreaty. Two large hands grabbed his jacket and wrenched him away from Rogue. Slamming Bobby against the wall, Logan let his claws extend. One hand on Bobby's neck kept the boy still while Logan threatened him with his long, metal, razor-sharp claws. "I think the lady said 'No,' so either you're deaf or I need to teach you some manners, boy," threatened Logan. From behind Logan, Rogue said, "Logan, let him go. Don't hurt him." Quickly, though reluctantly, Logan retracted his claws and released Bobby. Bobby backed away from Logan hurriedly until he was standing next to Rogue. Turning to Rogue, Bobby was surprised to hear Rogue say, "Go away, Bobby." Looking at Rogue, Bobby considered protesting but decided against it when Logan began a low growl. Whispering a shaky goodnight, Bobby retreated down the hall and out of sight.
Slowly, Logan approached Rogue. She stood there quiet and still. He placed a hand at the small of her back and she snapped her head to the right to look him in the eyes. Tears brimmed in her eyes. Rogue blinked and a single tear escaped her weakened defenses. As the tear traveled down her right cheek, Logan reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a white handkerchief. Logan debated with himself, but finally decided to brush the tear away instead of giving her the square bit of cloth. Rogue stared straight into his eyes as he softly wiped away her tear. She searched his face and found concern staring back at her. Looking away, Rogue hugged herself and started to walk away. Logan put his handkerchief away before reaching out and grabbing Rogue's shoulder. Jumping back, Rogue cried, "No, get away from me. Can't you see...Can't you see that I can't have anyone near me, close enough to touch me. It always turns out bad, one way or another." Logan put his hands up in front of him and said, "Woah, that's not true. I've held you lots of times and nothing bad has happened." Rogue laughed weakly and countered, "Oh yeah, what do you call the comas I put you in...a vacation." "Hey, I'm still alive and kicking, aren't I? So, it couldn't have been so bad, right?" Logan walked up to Rogue slowly, gently wrapping his arms around her, careful to avoid touching her arms. Rogue brought her hands up to her chest and rested her head on Logan's chest, her cheek brushing against the combination of his blue denim jacket and his black leather motorcycle jacket. Silently, Logan held Rogue while she cried and, after a few minutes, walked her back to her room.
With resignation, Rogue sat on her bed and looked up at Logan. "This is how it's always going to be, isn't it?" Logan sat beside Rogue and answered, "No, some-someday you'll meet a man who'll take things at your pace and with your restrictions and not care that he can't touch you. He'll be happy just to be in your presence." Rogue tucked her blond streak behind her ear and replied, "But Bobby" Logan reached out and took Rogue's hand in his own and squeezed it before responding. "Bobby is a boy. A man, a real man will come along, Marie. I promise." Rogue nodded, looking down. Patting Rogue on the knee, Logan stood up and walked toward the door, as he reached for the knob Logan could hear Rogue's voice speaking evenly and softly. "I used to hope that a certain man would come along." Logan stopped. He could feel his pulse throbbing through his body. He turned around and looked at Rogue's beautiful face as she continued to speak. "I used to hope that he could possibly feel for me what I feel for him, but I think he only sees me as a kid," Rogue continued. Slowly, Logan walked over to Rogue and knelt down in front of her. Rogue caught her breath as Logan pulled out his handkerchief and unfolded it. Covering his hand with the piece of cotton, Logan reached out and ran his fingers down her cheek. Logan whispered, "I don't think this guy thinks of you as a little girl, Marie. He just doesn't want to hurt you. Men can sometimes come with a lot of baggage, not all of it good." Rogue leaned into his touch and cooed into the cloth, "If he cares for me, I wish he would say something to me directly." Logan spread the cloth across Rogue's forehead, leaned in and kissed her forehead. Against her warmth, Logan spoke, "I think he will, but he just wants to wait until you're not feeling as vulnerable as you do right now." Rogue laughed nervously as Logan took his handkerchief off her face and started to fold it. "I hope he doesn't wait too long," she mentioned. Logan nodded, stood up and walked over to the door. Opening the door, Logan looked back one last time before entering the hall and making his way back to his room.
Later that night, Logan slept in his bed, dreaming of Rogue. In his fantasy, Logan and Rogue laid on Logan's bed. Rogue wore a burgundy cat suit with sleeves tucked into long, black silk gloves and leggings tucked into black, nylon stockings. Logan ran his hands up and down Rogue's arms and swirled his tongue over her breasts, sucking in her cloth-covered flesh. Under him, Rogue writhed in pleasure, gripping Logan's hair. Between gasps, Rogue alternated between sighing out "Wolverine" and "Logan." Suddenly, the door to Logan's room burst open. On the other side, Professor Xavier and the rest of the X-men stood, staring with disappointment at Logan and Rogue. Professor Xavier slid into the room, followed by Scott, Jean and Storm. Logan sat up and addressed the Professor. "Professor, what's going on?" Professor Xavier's face became twisted by anger as he answered, "You have betrayed the purpose of this school. You have corrupted it to fulfill your own agenda." Logan started to shake his head, but the Professor kept on with the attack. The Professor motioned to Jean Grey and ordered her and Storm to take Rogue away. As Storm and Jean grabbed Rogue's arms, Rogue began to scream. "Take her back to her room. I'll deal with her later," commanded Professor Xavier. Logan jumped up and reached out for Rogue, only to be stopped by Scott. Looking at the Professor, Logan said, "Professor, leave her alone. She's just a kid." Professor Xavier narrowed his eyes and countered, "Yes, she is a child, but you are an adult and you are the one ultimately responsible for this." Logan responded, "You're right. She's innocent and blameless in all this. If you want to punish someone, then punish me." Professor Xavier raised his right eyebrow and said, "You will be. You have betrayed me and the purpose of this institution, but more importantly, you have betrayed this girl's innocence, naivetÈ and trust. Logan, you are banished from the mansion. Leave now." In the background, Logan could hear Rogue calling his name. He turned in time to see Bobby enter the room, pick Rogue up and carry her away. Logan started calling out for Marie, screaming and reaching out for her.
With his arm out-stretched and Marie's name on his lips, Logan woke up in a sitting position, drenched in sweat. Quickly, Logan lowered his arm and rubbed his face. He jumped out of bed and looked around. A dream. It was just a dream. Letting out a held breath, he dragged on a sweater and walked outside to get some fresh air. He found himself on a balcony overlooking the grounds. Absently, Logan ran his hand over the stone masonry. He walked along the balcony until finally stopping, standing alone with his thoughts. Logan struggled inside with the things he wanted to do and what he felt he should do. After a few minutes, he looked up and saw her dark window and wondered of what she dreamt. Were they the dreams of a little girl or a woman? Was she a little girl or a woman? Was he taking advantage? Would his intentions eventually hurt her? Perhaps he should wait, allow her to gain a couple years of experience and life before pursuing anything romantic. Perhaps. The memory of their earlier conversation filled his mind and tore him in two. Had too much been said already? I just don't know. Burdened by his concerns, Logan left the balcony and returned to his room. He stretched out on his bed and tried to quiet the ramblings of his mind.
The next day, Logan sat in the main eating area and drank his coffee. Although his night had been stressful, at least the morning was promising. He already had the pleasure of scaring Bobby twice that morning. Logan smiled into his coffee and took a drink. A tray landing on the table startled him, causing Logan to spill a few drops of his coffee. Rogue stood smiling down at him for a second before sitting quickly. She wore a white poet's blouse, short white gloves and a long straight sky blue skirt. She picked up her napkin and cleaned the spilt coffee. A sinking feeling filled Logan's stomach. All too quickly, Rogue picked up on his hesitation. Slowly, she inquired, "Are you okay? Is something wrong?" Logan shook his head and took a sip from his coffee. Rogue reached a gloved hand across the table and gripped Logan's hand. Rogue asked in whispered tones, "Are you regretting the things you told me last night, Logan?" Snapping his eyes up, Logan met Rogue's gaze.
The moment of truth. Sitting there, Logan was impressed by the fact that this could end right now. He could say "yes" and everything would be over. Rogue's crush would be shattered. Maybe, he and Rogue would never be close again, but, at least, she'd be safe from him. Logan went to open his mouth, only to be stopped by a hand grasping his shoulder. Logan looked over his shoulder and found Scott. Scott smiled at Rogue and said to Logan, "Come on Wolverine, Magneto is on the move again." Logan looked back at Rogue, shrugged and followed Scott out of the dining area.
When the team returned, Rogue was waiting at the cargo bay. As the jet landed, Rogue began her prayer again. She watched Scott and Storm exit the plane first, followed by Jean and Logan. Jean was trying to examine Logan's left shoulder where his suit had been torn away. Blood stained the leather, but the wound it came from was gone. Logan brushed Jean away and told her, "I heal quick, remember. I'm okay. Now, just go away." Angry, Jean threw up her hands and walked away quickly. She and Scott left, followed closely behind by Storm. After they were all gone, Rogue came out of the shadows and approached Logan from behind. Logan was cursing under his breath as he fingered the shredded costume. Stiffening, Logan sniffed at the air. Without turning around, Logan called out, "Hey Marie. Aren't you supposed to be in class?" Rogue closed in on Logan and reached up. Tentatively, she ran a gloved hand over the ripped fabric. Looking up at Logan's features, Rogue asked, "What happened?" "Another tussle with Sabretooth. You'd think that with all the times I've sliced that guy up, he'd die by now," answered Logan. "But you're okay, right?" Logan reached over with his leather-clad right hand and grabbed Rogue's hand, holding it firmly. "Of course, you can't get rid of me that easily." Rogue smiled weakly and looked away. Logan took Rogue's chin between his thumb and forefinger and gently nudged her until she was looking at him. "What's the matter, Marie?" Logan asked.
Roughly, Rogue pulled away and walked toward the door. Stopping abruptly, she turned around and answered, "Logan, I know what you were going to say before you left this morning. You were going to say that you regretted the things you told me." Rogue continued, stating her ideas with confidence. "I know you look at me and see a little kid, regardless of what you said last night." Logan moved to speak, but Rogue raised a hand to silence him. "Last night was great. You were there when I needed you, but I understand if I'm not what you want. I can try to forget this Logan. I can try to forget how I feel, but first, I need to hear you say it." Logan looked at Rogue curiously and asked, "Say what?" Rogue walked up to Logan and placed her hands on his cheeks and requested, "Tell me you don't love me, Logan. Tell me you don't care for me. Tell me and I can let go." Logan felt the conflict rise in his heart again. Should he say he doesn't care? He never lied to her about his feelings before. Should he start now? The questions fueled his frustration and stoked flames of rage inside of him. Angrily, Wolverine ripped away from her caress. He began to pace back and forth. Rogue questioned him. "Why is this so hard, Logan? If you can walk away from me, then you must not love me. If you do love me, then why would you ever want to leave me?" Logan reached out and painfully gripped Rogue's arms. Frustrated, Logan explained, "I could be your Father. No one quite knows how old I am. Hell! I could be your Grandfather." Rogue shook her head and countered, "No, Logan, you can't be my Father or my Grandfather. I have one Father and two Grandfathers and, trust me; you look nothing like them. I'm not looking for a Father, Logan. I have a Father. I don't need another one." Logan lessened his grip on Rogue's arms. He looked deep in her brown eyes and saw the truth looking back at him. Logan quickly closed his eyes. "Marie, I carry a lot of baggage. I have trouble getting close to people. I wake up from terrible nightmares. You have personal knowledge of this. Am I really the type of person you want to be with?" Rogue brought her hands up, resting them on his chest. Leaning forward, Rogue laid her head on top of her hands and answered, "Yes, you are the type of person I want because you're like me. I can't get close to people, Logan, and I have nightmares, too. In my dreams, I see the boy I almost killed. I see the times I almost killed you, especially the last time. I know someday Professor Xavier is going to want me to join the team and I'm going to be expected to kill people, take mutant's powers. I don't know if I can live with that. I don't know if I can live with myself if I do it." Logan slid his hands around to Rogue's back, placing one hand on the back of her head. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Marie," Logan offered. Rogue laughed weakly, "Yeah, except where loving you is concerned. I don't want to leave you alone, Logan. I don't want to deny my feelings for you. I don't want to force myself to stop loving you."
Gripping her sore arms, Logan pushed Marie far enough away so that he could look directly into her eyes. Letting go of her arms, he ran his hand up her face and through her hair. Whispering so softly that he could barely be heard, Logan said, "Then don't." Rogue's eyes lit up at the words. Tentatively, a smile crossed her features while she said, "Do you mean it, Logan?" Logan nodded and answered, "I've tried to fight it for so long, Marie, but I can't fight anymore. I do care for you." Rogue cried out and rushed forward. Stopping, Rogue stood with her hands up in the air. Frustrated, she looked from her hands to Logan and back at her hands before placing a hand over Logan's mouth and kissing the back of her hand. Logan looked at Rogue's closed eyes and kissed her palm. Rogue smiled when she felt the pressure and pulled away. Logan placed an arm around her waist and led Rogue to the changing rooms. Once there, Logan opened his locker and pulled his clothes out. He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out his white handkerchief. Walking over to Rogue, Logan placed his hands on her cheeks, spreading the cloth across Rogue's nose and mouth. Logan hesitated for a second to make sure she could breath easily through the cloth before saying, "I love you, Marie." Leaning down, Logan brushed his lips against Rogue's lips. Rogue ran her hands up his chest, reaching up until her hands wrapped around his neck. Pressing harder, Rogue raised the intensity of the kiss. Logan gripped her face and the handkerchief tighter while he opened his mouth and waited for Rogue to do the same. She quickly complied. The thin barrier between them protected them, but did not deter from the sensations as they reached their tongues out and brushed them against the cloth. Finally, breaking the kiss, they staggered backwards a little before Logan pulled Rogue back into another searing kiss. They went on like this for more minutes than they could count. In the end, they parted and Logan pulled the handkerchief off of Rogue's face and placed it back in the back pocket of his jeans. He rolled his finger, signaling her to turn around. As soon as Rogue complied, Logan stripped out of his uniform and dressed in his street clothes: A T-shirt and jeans. He approached Rogue from behind and kissed her shoulder. She looked at him startled, but smiling. Placing his arm around her waist, He led her out of the locker room and back into the mansion.
Slowly, they made their way through the halls. Occasionally, one glanced to his or her side to catch the other sneaking a peak back. In silence, they exited the mansion and entered the surrounding gardens. In a small maze formed by high hedges, Logan and Rogue sat down on a stone bench. Rogue looked up at the cloudy sky for a second before returning her gaze to a serious Wolverine. Wolverine held Rogue's hands in his own. He looked in her eyes and said, "Marie, this isn't going to be easy. There are going to be people who won't approve of our relationship. They'll think I'm taking advantage of you. You may hear things in class. I need to know that you can handle this because one thing I'm not willing to do is have a secret affair. It wouldn't be fair to either of us and I wouldn't be respecting you if I did." Rogue smiled at Logan sweetly and replied, "Oh Logan, of course I can I never told you what happened after I almost killed that boy, did I? The town I lived in turned on me. They whispered behind my back. They called me a mutant freak. My whole family was ostracized. Y'know, the usual anti-mutant treatment. I had planned on going on a trip cross-country to Alaska when it all started, so I just left claiming that was the reason. I never went back. I just kept going. Logan, those people were cruel. They didn't accept me for what I am. I don't think that will happen here, but if it did, I don't think it could feel worse. I knew those people my whole life. I used to play with their children and when they closed their doors to me, it almost destroyed me. It's been great here at the mansion, but I haven't known these people very long. I care for them, but the only one I love is you. If they asked us to leave it would be okay because, at least, this time I wouldn't be running away by myself." Logan squeezed Rogue's hands and pulled them up to his lips and kissed them. Rogue laughed happily and put her hands on Logan's face and up into his hair. She felt tears sting her eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair. Logan watched the feelings floating across Rogue's face. Curious, Logan asked, "Marie, is there anything wrong?" Rogue shook her head and continued running her hands through Logan's shiny, black hair. A tear ran down Rogue's cheek and Logan repeated, "Marie, what is it?" Rogue placed a hand on Logan's forehead and placed her forehead against her hand before whispering, "I've wanted to do that for so long." Logan started laughing and, shortly thereafter, Rogue joined in.
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