Canadian Nights: The Boy With the X-ray Eyes Chapter 11 by Mo
Disclaimer: The X-Men and Alpha Flight belong to Marvel. The movie belongs to Fox. I do feel like Scott and Logan are a little bit mine since I've been borrowing them for so long.
Bobby came up to me just as I was leaving Algebra. He touched me on the arm to get my attention and said, "Cyclops - Mr. Summers - wants to see you in his office."
"But I'm supposed to be in History next," I told him.
"That's okay. I'm sure he knows that. He'll square it with the teacher."
"Am I in trouble?" It wouldn't have been the first time, but it would have been the first time with him. I really didn't want to be in trouble with him.
"No, I don't think so. He didn't sound mad. Besides, he always tries to talk to the new kids. And he's been off on a mission so he probably didn't get a chance to talk to you before. Do you want me to show you to his office?" He took my arm.
"Yes, thanks. But you don't hold my arm - I hold yours. You haven't spent much time with blind people, I guess."
"Nope, sorry." He dropped my arm and I took his. We started walking. I kept track of where we were going so I could find my way back. "But you're not really blind, are you?"
"No, but I might as well be for now. I'm only opening my eyes for an hour a day. And since I came into my powers I haven't really been able to see most of the time, anyway."
"It's a hard time, Oliver," he said. "That period when you're still learning to control it. I remember it well. Of course, in my case, I was accidentally leaving people encased in blocks of ice. Tended to make me kind of unpopular."
We had arrived at Mr. Summers's office by this point. Bobby said goodbye and went off somewhere. I knocked and was told to come in and take a seat.
"You're pretty good with that cane," he said, as I entered the office, found a chair and sat down.
"I've had to be. I've been 'blind' for months now. I need it to get around. Plus I have been trying really hard not to let on that I'm a mutant. The cane helps with the verisimilitude."
"Good word, Oliver," he said and I could hear the smile in his voice. "Dr. Grey tells me you're on a program now where you do some exercises with your vision but keep your eyes closed the rest of the time. How's that going?"
"Pretty good. I think I'm getting so I can control it. Not all the time, but sometimes I can just see normally. And sometimes I see through things when I want to, and only as far as I want to. More and more often I know what I'm looking at. I think I'll be able to get rid of the cane soon."
"Good. Good for you. So, what's the time frame here, Oliver? How old are you and how long since you came into your powers?"
I told him that I had just turned fifteen and that I'd come into my powers eight months ago.
He didn't say anything for a minute, maybe wondering where I'd been for the last eight months. Then, softly, "I had a cane like that when I was your age." I told him that I knew that. "I never managed to get control of my powers, unfortunately, but at least I can see now, with these," he went on. I could hear him tapping his glasses. "And I'm able to use my powers when I need to, with the help of a visor and electronic controls. Better living through technology."
I laughed at that a little. He told me he liked to see all the new kids, to talk to them about adjustment, about the curriculum and so on. And said that he had particularly wanted to talk to me because we had a lot in common. He said he didn't know any other mutants whose gifts were in their eyes. I was so thrilled that he thought we had something in common. Not so thrilled when he asked his next questions. "So, how are things so far? How are you getting along with the other kids?"
"Not so great. I mean, Dr. Grey probably told you I've gotten into some fights. I'm so happy to be here, really I am. You can't imagine what a relief it is to have somewhere to live, a place to be, a plan. And I'm trying to get along with the others, I'm trying hard. Bobby and John have both been great to me. But some of the guys in my dorm - well, they heard stuff about me and they've been calling me names. I know there's a no fighting rule but I can't take this lying down. What kind of man would I be if I did? But I don't want to screw things up here. Really. I want to stay. I have to stay."
He didn't answer for a while. When he did, he didn't even talk about the fighting at first. "Oliver," he said, "I know exactly what a relief it is to be off the streets. And I will tell you this for certain sure: you will stay here as long as you want to. We'll work things out. You can stay here until you finish school and then go somewhere else, if you want. Or you can stay on and join the team. Or teach. Or both. I came here when I was sixteen and haven't left yet. It's up to you what you do, and it's not something you need to decide yet. This is your home for as long as you need it to be, as long as you want it to be. Do you know Whitman, Oliver?"
I shook my head.
"Well, you will before I'm done with you. Anyway, your 'ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done.' Get it?"
"Got it."
"Good. Okay, now, about the fighting. Yes, you're right. We don't allow fighting. There are other ways to deal with conflict and we need to work on those with you. And with the other kids - it's not just you. And there are other outlets for aggression, too, you know - you're welcome to join the crowd that works out regularly in the Danger Room. You can be fighting robots all you want and sparring, under controlled conditions, with your teachers and classmates.
"I know it can seem kind of strange - everybody here takes self-defense classes so everybody learns to fight. And those who are interested in joining the X-Men learn more and practice more, even to the point of advanced combat training. So we teach you seventeen different ways to disable an attacker. And then we turn around and tell you that no fighting is allowed. It's a little paradoxical, I know. But, you know, life is full of contradictions. And a whole lot of self-defense is knowing when not to fight. This has to be a safe environment for all of us - physically and emotionally safe. So, no, you can't go around beating up people who call you names. There are other ways to show you're a man, Oliver. But they shouldn't be calling you names, either. That needs to be dealt with, too. Can you tell me about it?"
"I'm never going to get along with any of the kids here if I'm ratting on somebody the second week I get here. I know that might be hard for you to understand," I added, hoping he wouldn't press me.
He chuckled at that. "No, Oliver, I think I can understand that. In fact it was the same way back when I was a kid - when dinosaurs still roamed the earth. I'm not going to ask you who was calling you names. Can you tell me what happened, though? What did they call you? How did it come about? And then maybe we can come up with an action plan here. Together."
I took a deep breath. And turned my head away, which was kind of dumb since my eyes were closed anyway. It's not like I was looking at him or anything. "They've been calling me a faggot, saying I'm gay. And I don't know how much Dr. Grey told you but..." I felt like shit. I was almost crying, but managed not to, managed to get myself under control and continue. "Look, I'm not proud of it at all, but I didn't have any way to support myself. I got kicked out of my house when I came into my powers and I'm too young to even get fucking working papers - sorry - to even get working papers and I didn't know what to do for money. So, sometimes I let guys suck me off - they paid me for it. It was a way to get money. But it's nothing about me. I'm not a faggot - I hate guys like that. I can't stand faggots - I wouldn't have had anything to do with them if I didn't have to. I never did it to any of them, anyway. It's nothing about me," I said again. And then I didn't know what else to say.
"Oliver, there is so much to answer in what you just said," he told me, sounding sad. "I appreciate how hard it is to talk about, really. Look, you're not the only one. Not by a long shot. Kids come here who have been on the street and they've been doing what you did, or they've been working for drug dealers or they've been stealing. None of those things are good ways to make a living - and none of them are tolerated here. But you do what you have to to survive. It's a tough world out there. Particularly tough for people like us. We all do what we need to do."
And then I did cry. I mean, it wasn't what I expected at all from him. I thought he'd be shocked, thought he'd say something about how terrible what I did was. And he didn't - he talked like he understood, like he knew why I had to. So, there I go blubbering and apologizing for crying and feeling like a total jerk. And he tells me that the first time he cried after he came into his powers was when Professor Xavier came and got him to bring him here. And he hands me a box of tissues. So, I take one and wipe my eyes and then I just opened them - I don't know why.
"Hey, I can see you!" I said. And he asks me if I'm seeing his face or inside his head and if it's inside his head he really hopes there's a brain in there. And it's probably the stupidest joke I've heard in a long time but I laughed anyway because I knew he was just trying to make me feel better about crying and all. And then I said that maybe I should close my eyes but he said he didn't think I'd ruin my whole program if I talked to him with my eyes open for a few minutes.
He was looking at me very seriously. "Oliver, I am so sorry that you've been through this and I understand how hard it's been for you. But I'm still going to have to take exception to some of what you said. No, the other kids shouldn't be calling you homophobic slurs. But, you shouldn't be saying things like that, either. We do have a policy here of not tolerating hate speech. There are equally ugly words out there for mutants, you know. We, of all people, should know better than to hate a whole class of people just because they are a little different."
I told him that I think it's really different than being a mutant and that he didn't know how those queers treated me, what they did to me. So he tells me again that he doesn't want me talking like that. But he's saying all this shit like he's trying to help me, not like he's mad. And he tells me that there are girls here, too, who did sex work before they came here. And asks if I think that they should hate all straight men because of that. He did sort of have a point. And then he goes on and says that I should be careful how I talk about gay people because I might be offending somebody without knowing it, somebody I don't want to offend. Same as somebody could be saying something about mutants to me and not know they were making me mad.
"Hey, I know who's gay," I told him. "I can always tell."
He smiled this sort of half-smile. "I don't think anybody can always tell," he said, "but okay, Oliver. Let's say for argument's sake you can always tell if you're talking to a gay man or a lesbian. Fine. What if I tell you my brother is gay? Or my best friend. Don't you think it's going to make me pretty mad if you say the kind of things you've been saying? If you start with the idea that gay people are going to be offended by that kind of talk and add to it friends and relatives of gay people you get a pretty large group of people, you know. You're going to go around getting people pissed off at you if you use that kind of language, or if you start making those kinds of gross generalizations.
"We have this rule about hate speech for a good reason - we're a very diverse group and we live in close proximity. We eat and sleep and learn and work all in this one house - we need to be able to all get along. You don't have to like everybody; nobody likes everybody. You have to manage to get along though, and that includes not saying things that are going to offend some subset of the community. And the fact that you're hearing that kind of stuff from other kids tells me we haven't done a good enough job of communicating the importance of this rule. So, I'm going to talk to Professor Xavier and see what we can do about that."
We chatted a bit more after that. He told me he'd be in the Danger Room later in the afternoon with a few of the students and asked if I'd like to join them. And he told me that pretty soon I'd need to pick an advisor and start planning my coursework - said they had just put me in my current classes temporarily until I could work out with my advisor what I needed to take. And smiled at me again and said that he was sort of auditioning for the job. I was so psyched - I'd been scared to ask if he'd be my advisor. I left there feeling like I was walking on air. I'd gone in worried that he would kick me out of school and I left with an appointment for that afternoon in the Danger Room and the next day with my new advisor. I tried to wipe the silly grin off my face as I felt my way back to my dorm.
All references to characters belonging to the X-Men Universe are (c) and TM the Marvel Comics Group, 20th Century Fox and all related entities. All rights reserved. Any reproduction, duplication or distribution of these materials in any form is expressly prohibited. No money is being made from this archive. All images are also (c) and TM the Marvel Comics Group, 20th Century Fox and all related entities; they are not mine. This website, its operators and any content used on this site relating to the X-Men are not authorized by Marvel, Fox, etc. I am not, nor do I claim to be affiliated with any of these entities in any way.