The sound of soft sobbing..... the smell of salt tears heavy in the air.... the cold, empty space in the bed beside him.... All these came flooding into Logan's sleep fogged brain and he struggled into full consciousness. Eyes snapped open to take in the darkened room, scanning for the source of the sounds. There, by the window... Kiara stood looking out into the blizzard that continued to rage, her arms wrapped tightly about her still form. Logan pulled himself slowly upright, eyes locked on the back of her head.
"Another nightmare?" he asked softly, voice barely above a whisper, as he stood. A stifled sob and mute nod were her only replies. Wanting to comfort her, to remind her that she wasn't alone in her pain, Logan began to move across the floor towards her. It was only when a loose floorboard creaked under his bare feet that she finally turned to face him. The look of soul-shattering pain that filled her eyes, the weary horror on her face, caught Logan's heart in a vise and squeezed. He came to a grinding halt when she held up her hand, motioning him to stop.
"No..." she whispered. "No, I won't be able to say this if... if I can see your face...." A shiver of foreboding froze the blood in his veins and Logan nodded silently. Stood there. Waiting for her to continue... wishing desperately that she wouldn't...
"We *did* know one another, Logan... I don't remember how.. I don't remember *where* we met.... but tonight's dream brought back some memories..." Her voice faltered and stopped, as fresh sobs echoed through the silent cabin.
"What?" Logan's own voice was thick in his throat and it was all he could do to force the words past numb lips. In the darkness, he could see her chest expand as she took a deep breath before continuing.
"Before... before they cut me open - before they cut *us* open to put in these," a metallic pop and her claws gleamed in the moonlight, "they did something else to me...." The memory of a voice screaming his name in terror echoed through Logan's mind and he began to shake his head from side to side, eyes clenched shut against it.
"No..." he whispered out loud.
"Yes, Logan. They had to get rid of something first...." His spine went rigid under frozen muscles as images began to flood his awareness.... He could barely hear her words as wave after wave of memory slammed into him...
*FLASH* screaming....
*FLASH* men's voices...
*FLASH* "Get rid of it..."
*FLASH* "It'll only get in the way of the experiment..."
*FLASH* woman's voice screaming "Logan!! No!!!"
*FLASH* his own voice screaming, cursing...
*FLASH* body twisting futiley against the straps that held him down...
*FLASH* head twisted painfully to the side, trying, oh god, trying to see what they were doing..
*FLASH* a final shriek, then silence
*FLASH* a red medical waste bag passing his straining head at eye level...
*FLASH* the stillborn child curled up inside it...
"NOOOO!!!!!!!!" The scream tore from his throat to rend the air of the cabin. At some point, he'd fallen to the floor and, as Kiara approached him with her hands out, he violently backpedaled away from her. Pain, pain unlike any he'd ever known was ripping his mind to pieces and the red, feral rage was rapidly taking over... Had to get out.... had to get away..... With a final, barely human moan of denial, he was out the door and running through the trees. His mind too far gone to even register the bitter cold ice that cut at his bare feet, the branches that whipped his upper body until the blood ran in rivulets to freeze against his skin...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He lay in the snow, staring up at the night sky as the tears continued to fall. His child... *their* child.... torn out, murdered.... An unbidden memory of his hand resting on a swollen stomach, the wonder he'd felt at the vigorous kick that had made Kiara laugh.... "No.... no more... please..." Unable to stop the images from replaying on the backs of his eyelids, of the form inside the red bag being disposed of like so much medical waste, Logan flung an arm across his face. Willing the memories to go away... to leave him alone again...
"Logan..." His tormented mind took a moment to realize that Kiara's voice was not part of his imagination. It was real. She was real.... Eyes crazed with pain looked up to see her standing over him and a whimper slipped out despite himself. The expression fo such tenderness, such compassion, such love on her face broke his already battered heart. As he struggled to raise himself up, to run again, Kiara dropped to her knees in front of him. He stared in terror at her hands as they reached out to him, knowing that contact - physical, human contact - would make this all horribly real... Maybe reading it in his eyes, maybe seeing it in his posture, Kiara reached out quickly and pulled his stiff form to her. Enfolding him in warm arms... The last shred of his denial fell away and Logan collapsed into her shoulder, weeping like a child for a loss he'd blocked away for 15 long years....
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