Taming of the Wild One
Zerelda X

Don't know where this story came from, but it entertained me for a good hour tonight.

Disclaimer -- Marvelites belong to Marvel, Charlotte is mine. Jessie is borrowed with Michele's permission. Thanks, Michele! No profit earned, but some good laughs had by all.

Some naughty language and innuendoes, but we're all adults here, right?

"The problem is that he won't come on command," Charlotte complained while she and Jean sat outside on the boat house, enjoying the morning sunshine. "He ignores you every time you tell him."

"Give him time. Training them takes patience and Wolvie's not that young anymore. You know what they say about old dogs and new tricks." Jean handed her a fresh cup of coffee. "This isn't the first one you've had to deal with."

"I know. He's smart, though. I've already got him begging."

"He is adorable. It must be all that fur. I loved the pictures you showed me."


Logan paused around the side of the boathouse. He was searching for his wife, and it looked like he found her. He stopped when he heard about pictures. When had Char ever taken pictures of him?


"There's still a problem that has to be taken care of soon. He's at that stage, you know."

"Hound dog horny?"

"Yes," Charlotte sighed. "He's on almost anything that moves, and some things that don't. It makes me nervous sometimes, just catching him out of the corner of my eye. I don't know if I'll be jumped on or not. He's big enough to knock me over."

"All male, of course." Jean agreed. "Looks like he'll have to be neutered."

"I'd hate to do that, but it looks like that's the only way."


Neutered?! Not him, no fuckin' way anyone was gettin' near his crotch with a knife!


"Once that's taken care of, he'll be much easier to handle. Maybe he'll stop running off every chance he gets."

"I never used to worry about it," Charlotte said. "The medical advancements in this century are truly miraculous."

"Think of it this way. Once Wolvie gets fixed, it'll be easy to take him places. He won't scratch the furniture or mark his territory all that much."

"The damned furball had the nerve to mark *me* the last time."

Jean laughed. "It puts an end to lots of bad habits. He might put on some weight afterwards, so he'll need plenty of exercise."

"That won't be a problem. You just have to show him something he likes and he'll chase after it. The very next time I'm near a pet shop, he's getting a collar and leash, maybe a choke chain."


Collar and leash?!

Choke chain?!

Logan took in an shocked breath. Eavesdropping had never been a moral concern for him, but this was just too much for a man to put up with. Listening to two women -- one his wife, one he used to be in love with -- discuss him like he was a problem that had to be fixed? He wasn't letting her get away with this one.

One hand slipped down to cover his privates in an unconscious gesture of protection.

Owwww. He shouldn't have used the word 'fixed.'


"Maybe it will do something for the whining, too. There's nothing sadder than a male whining because he can't have what he wants."

"Why don't you just try popping his nose? That usually works for me and Grace." Jessie arrived in the front, spotting Logan around the side. She wondered, but shrugged it off. Adults were the weirdest people. "Char, I've been waiting at the car."

"Sorry, we just got to talking. Let me grab my purse and I'll be right with you."

"I've already put it in the car." Jessie jangled Char's keys, then tossed them to her. "*Now* can we get going?"

Charlotte almost smiled at the look of impatience from the teenager, but decided against it. They had a truce right now; she wasn't going to spoil it over this and have her think she was being laughed at. "Thanks for the coffee, Jean. I don't know if we'll be back for lunch, so don't count on us."

"Okay." Jean waved them off. "Have fun."

"What about one of those little invisible fence things, so he can't wander off the estate without you?" Jessie's voice floated back to Jean as the two walked back towards the house.

"The hard part would be to get the collar on him for that to work. Wolvie's big and heavy, and if he doesn't want something around his neck, it's not going to happen."


Logan walked around the corner, glaring at the departing back of his loving wife.

Jean turned to go inside and saw him. "Good morning Logan. Would you like some coffee?"

"I don't know," he answered. "Do I gotta whine for it?"


"Y'know what I mean! Talkin' about neuterin' me, like I'm some kinda dog....." He stopped, finally noticing the look on her face.

"Were you eavesdropping?"

"I heard ya both, every damned word. I ain't wearin' a collar."

Jean started to snicker, remembering the conversation. "But will you come on command?"

"Not damned likely. Why're you laughin'?"

"Do you happen to remember Charlotte telling you about a dog Thomas found on his last trip and took home with him? A big, furry dog that was cute, but untrained?"

Now that he thought about it, he did remember her saying something about a dog, but he hadn't been listening all that closely. "The dog's name is Wolvie?"

Jean stopped snickering and just plain laughed. "Yes! Char named him because he shares a few personality traits with you. I guess you think so, too."

Logan stared at her a moment longer, then turned to stomp his way to the mansion. "Goddamn women," she heard him mutter around his cigar.

All references to characters belonging to the X-Men Universe are (c) and TM the Marvel Comics Group, 20th Century Fox and all related entities. All rights reserved. Any reproduction, duplication or distribution of these materials in any form is expressly prohibited. No money is being made from this archive. All images are also (c) and TM the Marvel Comics Group, 20th Century Fox and all related entities; they are not mine. This website, its operators and any content used on this site relating to the X-Men are not authorized by Marvel, Fox, etc. I am not, nor do I claim to be affiliated with any of these entities in any way.