Can't Do It Alone, or So I Heard
by
Zerelda X



X-Men belong to Marvel. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks for the idea, Zanne.




"Suck it."

"I am," Remy's voice was irritated.

"Then suck it harder. You ain't doin' nothin' that way."

~*~*~*~*~


Bishop stopped at Remy's bedroom door and listened briefly. What?

~*~*~*~*~


"Now blow in the hole."

"Dis ain't de first time for me, Logan."

"Then y'oughta know how to do it better. Try it again."

"Why doan' you try?"

"Cause I ain't the one who came beggin'. You wanted help an' I'll help, but I ain't doin' no suckin'. Now try it again."

~*~*~*~*~


For the first time since he'd been living here, Bishop felt a deep uneasiness about the moral character of his teammates. After all, Logan was married to a woman who didn't play and share well with others. He was a man who didn't share with others, either.

Gambit, he expected things like this from, but not here, and not with Wolverine. Rogue wasn't the one he'd have to worry about. Charlotte would be the one who'd cut his heart from his chest and show it to him before he died.

~*~*~*~*~


"Anythin' comin' out yet? Damn.... SUCK!! Put some oomph into it!"

Coughing and choking kept Remy from making a coherent reply.

~*~*~*~*~


Bishop cringed. He had to break this up before someone found out. Something like this could tear apart the team faster than anything else.

~*~*~*~*~


"Suck. Blow. Got anythin' yet?"

"Just a headache. My mouth is hurtin'."

"Well, if ya quit screwin' around an' get serious 'bout this, we'd be done already."

"I'm tryin', but dis be stubborn. Doan' want to come out."

"Just get on your knees an' suck that thing. What, it's too big for you to handle?"

~*~*~*~*~


Maybe if he set off the perimeter alarms they'd stop before anyone caught them? No, that would disturb everyone. The intercom? No, that might get Charlotte or Rogue up here looking for them. Maybe he needed some help? No, the others couldn't know about this.

~*~*~*~*~


"It's comin', Logan." The Cajun's voice held tired satisfaction.

"Good. Hey, careful there, don't let it go all over the floor, that's what the bucket's for, Gumbo."

"T'ink we need 'nother bucket. Dat's a lot comin' out."

"Here, I'll hold that end. You might have to suck it some more."

"No, I doan want to. It's your turn."

"I'm not takin' a turn, I told ya that. Why don't you get someone else. Mebbe Bishop's free. Bet he can suck it harder than you did."

"He's bigger den me, too, homme."

"Size ain't got nuthin' to do with it. He'd put in more effort to do it quick."

~*~*~*~*~


Bishop's eyes grew to the size of saucers. Oh, no. He wasn't doing that, no way. He began to back up slowly, one hand on his weapon just in case Logan or Remy came to the door and caught him.

~*~*~*~*~


"Hey, kid." Charlotte's voice from behind scared him. He whirled around, his weapon out and primed, pointing at her chest.

"O-kay," she said slowly, holding her hands away from her body, palms up. "Just lower that thing, we can talk about whatever's bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me," he ground out through a clenched jaw, mentally kicking himself for losing control. He lowered his weapon. "You shouldn't sneak up on me."

"I thought you heard me. Something must be on your mind."

His face flushed under his dark skin, he brushed past her and down the stairs almost at a run.

Charlotte looked after him, puzzled, but let it go. Go figure Futureboy.

She walked down the hallway and opened the bedroom door. "How you guys coming along in here?"

Logan looked up in frustration. "He don't know much 'bout drainin' a waterbed."

"I'm tryin' but it's not easy," Remy protested. "He's yellin' at me."

"Logan, come on, let him do that by himself. If he wants help draining his waterbed, he can get it somewhere else. You promised me a movie today, remember?"

"Yeah." He got up from his spot by the hose. "Just remember to suck it hard. It ain't gonna syphon just 'cause ya speak French an' charm it. An' get another bucket. That one ain't gonna hold 'nough to do ya any good." He took her arm and pulled her out behind him.

"I just saw Bishop up here," Charlotte called helpfully from the hallway. "He probably hasn't gotten too far if you still need help."



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