Wolverine's Words of Wisdom
by
Lachlanrose



Disclaimer: Not mine. Never were. Never will be.

Feedback: Sure, why not? I'm feeling lucky today. ;)

Notes: Question - What do you do to kill time in waiting rooms? Answer - Read old dog-eared magazines. ;) This fic happens to be the 'Loganized' version of an article I found in Ladies' Home Journal (titled 'Men & Sex: What Your Husband Will Never Tell You'). Thanks to the usual suspects for the beta.




Ask just about any woman you know, and she'll tell ya that most men don't know jack about sex - That we may think we do, but when it comes down to brass tacks, what we don't know outweighs what we do know. It seems we've gotten a reputation for bein' pretty damn clueless when it comesta sex. I'll admit we could probably stand to learn a thing or two, but I ain't at all sure we deserve that shitty rep, at least not when ya consider that women have at least as much to learn as we do. Hmph. I've been doin' some thinkin' and I've decided that a frank discussion could benefit both sides - so, in the spirit of makin' a damn good thing that much better, I'll share with ya a few things we think our women still don't know 'bout men and sex.



#1 We think you're sexy.

Damn straight. Yup, I'm talkin' 'bout Marie, my wife. It ain't rocket science, bub. You can be sure any man happy 'bout havin' a ring on his finger thinks his wife is sexy as hell. Marie, she pretty much does it for me. Wouldn't be with her if she didn't. Heh. 'Course, I may not tell her as often as I should, and God knows, I sure don't tell her as often as I think it, but it's the straight up truth. There ain't anyone who gets my blood up faster than her.

Heh. Now I ain't talkin' 'bout when she rolls outta bed with sleep in her eyes and pulls on some ugly-ass 'Xavier's School for the Gifted' sweatshirt that covers up all the good parts or when mornin' sickness has her dry heavin' her toothpaste, but pretty much the rest of the time, she lights my flame but good. 'Specially when she rolls outta our bed with her hair all wild and skin still flushed from some good, hard lovin'. Oh, yeah. That gets to me every damn time.

Hell, I've even caught myself checkin' out a good lookin' woman only to discover she's my own damn wife. Marie'd never let me live that down if she knew. There was this one time - I saw this woman out in the garage, bent over, unloadin' somethin' outta Slim's Bentley. She had these legs that went on forever and this absolutely amazin' ass, shakin' this way and that as she reached for somethin' in the trunk. I damn near swallowed my cigar when I realized I'd been oglin' my own wife.

Cometa think of it, Slim's still givin' me crap 'bout foggin' up the windows of his favorite car that afternoon. Heh. Good thing he still doesn't know that me and Marie gave the pilot's seat in the Blackbird a damn good test flight as well. Heh.

It ain't just that, though. It's other stuff too. I may be a little more possessive than most, but I ain't the only married man livin' here who keeps an eye on the younger guys who are always hangin' around. Hell, Slim even watches the kid who delivers the pizzas. I guess a part of it is that even though we know the looks our women get might be completely innocent, we see them in a different way and we assume that everyone else with a pair of cojones does too.

That attraction - it ain't all sexual, and it ain't just about looks. Sure that's a part of it, and sometimes it's a big part... but it ain't everythin'. There's this whole other level of intimacy that goes way beyond anythin' our bodies do together. There's this deeper bond that makes us mates past flesh and bone - right down to the soul.

Marie, she's sexy because I know her. I mean I really know her - and she knows me that way too. Hell, she knows me best. We got history, good and bad, and as important (and damned attractive) as her looks are - they don't hold a candle to what I see when I look inta those beautiful, dark eyes of her and see that connection, that soul deep love shinin' back at me. That's the best thing. Absolutely.



#2 We think about other women.

Yup. It's true, and I'm man enough to admit it. We all gotta woman or two in our past who flipped our switch so good it still gets us goin' to think about it. Even guys like Summers. Actually, the quiet ones like him - they're the ones who usually have the wildest pasts - and you can bet your sweet ass that before Slim hooked up with Jeannie, he had his fair share of willin' women. I gotta tell ya, that man as some balls for marryin' a telepath... Damn.

'Course, I guess you could say the same thing 'bout Marie's skin... But then again, the Wolverine's always liked to live dangerously. Heh.

It ain't that I still want that woman, hell, any woman, from my past. Those memories - they're like some old fishin' story - the details sorta get exaggerated over time 'till it's more fantasy than reality. It kinda reminds me of a time in my life when it was just me and the road. Now, I ain't lookin' to go backta that place. I'm real happy where I am now - but that time on the road - that time was just for me. Figurin' out who I was, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted outta life. Those memories, well, they're a part of that.

'Course, I know that memory - it ain't particularly accurate... and that woman - she don't look like that anymore, hell, she probably never did to begin with. In fact, she's probably married now, with kids and a job she don't like and a husband who has memories of his old girlfriend. So there ya go.



#3 We like married sex better than we liked single sex.

Now most single guys, they'll tell ya the best thing 'bout bein' single is that they get to get up and go home after sex. 'Course, what they really mean is that they don't like havin' to have any of the responsibility that comes with wakin' up beside a woman in the mornin'. That they don't like havin' to deal with livin' up to any standards that woman might have for how she wants the man she just fucked to handle himself the mornin' after.

Don't get me wrong. I ain't badmouthin' those guys. Hell, until Marie, I was one of those guys. And I can tell ya, as good as the sex was back then, I never really enjoyed the part that came after. There was no snugglin', no 'afterglow', no peace. It didn't matter who I was with, I had too much runnin' through my mind to be relaxed, even after a good, hard fuck.

Sometimes I'd be wonderin' if I held the animal back enough, or if anythin' I did scared her. Other times, I'd worry she was gonna get too attached to me, if she'd want me to stick around when all I wanted to do was get back in the wind. Lotsa times it was just me worryin' if the woman was somehow connected to those fuckers in the lab, if she was just leadin' me on so I'd let down my guard long enough for those bastards to get a hold of me again. Hell, sometimes it was just me wonderin' if the woman I was with cared about me at all or if I was nothin' but a good fuck - ok for a night, but nothin' she'd want to find in her bed the next mornin'. Just another of those bad habits that are ok in the dark, but not good enough to be seen in the harsh light of day. See, all that stuff? That don't necessarily make for the most relaxin' post sex moments, ya know?

Now bein' with Marie, that ain't anythin' like bein' with those women. I know my wife loves me. I know she ain't ashamed to have me wake up beside her in the mornin'. I know she ain't afraid of me even when I ain't so good 'bout holdin' back the animal, and I know she don't wanna trap me or hurt me or any of that other shit I always worried 'bout. In fact, she don't want nothin' outta me that I ain't willin' to give.

See, married sex is a hundred times better because there's fewer worries, fewer fears and that leads to less distractions and a whole lot more lovin'. I can concentrate totally on her; lose myself in what we have together. I can look in her eyes and know that she knows who I am deep down and loves me not in spite of it, but because of it. That feelin'... there just ain't anythin' like it in the whole damn world, and it just ain't a feelin' a man gets when he's plottin' a strategy for escapin' from a woman's bed before things get complicated.



#4 Sometimes, we actually like hearin' how ya want sex with some nameless guy.

Heh. I betcha never thought you'd hear me sayin' anythin' like that on account of my possessive nature, but it's true. The real truth is, there's somethin' 'bout seein' Marie puttin' away the groceries or makin' the bed or changin' our son's diapers that makes me forget that under her no-nonsense wife-'n-mother exterior, beats the heart of an insatiable sex goddess.

I need that occasional reminder that the sex kitten I fell so damn hard for is alive and purrin' under all that goody-goody stuff. Don't get me wrong; I like that goody-goody stuff, too. Marie's a damn fine wife and one helluva mom, but from time to time, I like bein' reminded that she's also the woman who likesta suck me off after missions and makes me so damn hot that we do occasionally wind up steamin' up the windows of the Blackbird's cockpit. Heh. See, that's why I enjoy the fantasy of Marie in tight leather pants, slutty fuck-me boots, and wet lipstick, prowlin' around for a strange man to satisfy her animal lust - that primal urge to mate. God, I get hot just thinkin' 'bout it.

Sure, it might sound like some kinda cheesy porno, but there's always gonna be that part of me, of all men, that never outgrows the fantasy that the good woman we married really is that naughty little vixen. I ain't the only one, either. I've caught Slim's scent a time or two while we were watchin' Jeannie address Congress. Heh. You can be damn sure he wasn't thinkin' 'bout how classy and responsible she was then... although I wouldn't be at all surprised if those high heels, that podium, and the audience was still there. Summers has a definite exhibitionist streak - but that's a story for another time. Heh.

Back to my fantasy of Marie. I don't want ya gettin' the wrong idea or nothin'. In real life, I sure as fuck don't want anyone but me touchin' her. But I do like the idea that she could be so hot for it that she'd do anythin' to satisfy her primal desires, 'cause in real life, that's where I come in. Heh. And if there's anythin' I do well, it's takin' care of Marie.



#5 You hafta ask for whatcha want.

This is a big one. Guys who know exactly what a woman wants, when she wants, how she wants - they ain't real. They don't exist except in those trashy romance novels and lame-ass chick flicks. I don't care how perfect he is - you take that guy outta that movie, marry his ass to the woman who thinks he's Mr. Right, give 'em two kids, a mortgage and a minivan and you can bet your ass, he'll be holdin' the puck when she wants him clearin' the zone. Heh.

Change is a good thing and most men, myself included, are pretty much willin' to give whatever it is ya dream up a shot. Now, I'm not talkin' about the piddley shit. None of this 'A little more to the left, sugar'. Think big. Tired of the way I dress? Fine. I can deal with lookin' like a penguin for an evenin' if you think it's gonna light your flame. Wanna break out the handcuffs - or scarves as the case may be, just say the word, darlin'. Feel like takin' one of your old brushes and paintin' me with chocolate sauce? I'm there. Uh, wait a second. Forget that one. I'm sure I have no idea how come the couch in the den has a cushion, or three, with Hershey's stains. Yeah, that musta been the kids makin' sundaes...

Anyway, the point here is we're pretty much up for anythin', just tell us whatcha want. Clearly. With small words in short sentences if you're naked. Heh. Just kiddin'. Honestly, we just want ya to talk to us. Tell us what lights your flame and we'll do our best to make it happen, 'cause for most of us, lightin' our wives' flames gets ours goin' pretty good too. Me included. 'Specially if those words are followed by, "The baby's sleepin' right now, sugar," and that little sex kitten purr I love so damn much. Heh.

Mostly we just want ya to talk to us. Yeah you our wives. We wanna hear your fantasies, your desires, your dreams. And in the interest of makin' a good thing that much better, darlin', why dontcha tell us what you think we don't know 'bout sex.



All references to characters belonging to the X-Men Universe are (c) and TM the Marvel Comics Group, 20th Century Fox and all related entities. All rights reserved. Any reproduction, duplication or distribution of these materials in any form is expressly prohibited. No money is being made from this archive. All images are also (c) and TM the Marvel Comics Group, 20th Century Fox and all related entities; they are not mine. This website, its operators and any content used on this site relating to the X-Men are not authorized by Marvel, Fox, etc. I am not, nor do I claim to be affiliated with any of these entities in any way.