X-BOO
by
Hunter
Disclaimer: Nothing's mine. . . not Spielberg's Boo. . . Not Marvels X Gang, Nothing. . . .
Dedication: To Hatch. . . My family's pet chicken.
Feedback: Yes Please. You will be added to my list of people to get a free porches when I rule the world.
"I thought we were having lasagne tonight?" Logan mumbled over a mouthful of cigar as he lit it.
Jubilee shot him a puzzled look. "We are."
"No we ain't."
"Yes we are." She insisted. "I saw Maria taking out the mince and noodles this morning."
"Then why can I smell chicken everywhere?" Logan replied smugly, waving his cigar around in hand to indicate everywhere.
Jubilee paused for a moment, a look of heavy contemplation on her face, "Ahhhhhhhh -- maybe cause those cigars have finally screwed up your nose?"
Logan's eyes narrowed, "I'm telling you Jubes, I can smell chicken. . . and my nose is never wrong."
"Lasagne."
"Chicken."
"Lasagne."
"Chicken."
"Lasagne."
THE PLOT THICKENS
En route to the dinning hall, Logan was sniffing the air. "Chicken. . . I know its chicken," he was grumbling when the sounds of soft giggling voices reached his sensitive ears form the lounge.
"Have you seen the new guy Scott brought in this morning." That was Kitty, Logan identified, still mumbling to himself.
"Oooooooh my is he gorgeous. What a hunk. Its about time we got some new droolworthy men in this mansion."
Wait a sec. Logan froze in his tracks as his mind stitched on an ID to the voice. That was Marie.
'What the hell. . . .' He moved closer to the wall separating the lounge and the corridor and pushed his ear closer to the cool wallpaper.
"I could just get lost in those golden amber eyes of his.."
"I almost melted when he looked at me. Soooo amazing. Imagine waking up to those eyes."
Logan felt his hackles rise.
"And those claws. Have you seen those? Oh my...they are like THIS big!"
HEY!! I have claws.
Logan started to growl.
"Do you think he is available? You know, for the spring dance Jean's putting together?"
"Don't know, but we can always find out." He could hear the smile in her voice. He growled even louder.
"Marie. Do you hear something?"
"Growling?"
"Ah ha."
A few moments of quiet.
"Logan are you out here?" A slightly raised voice asked.
But he had already stomped down the passageway, swearing and growling under his breath.
SOMETHING CHICKEN THIS WAY COMES
Logan sat glowering in his corner of the X-Table poking at his lasagne, when yet another waft of chicken crept up his nose.
The smell was not only EVERYWHERE he went but it was also stopping him from effectively tracking down this 'swoon-worthy' new guy who had every female resident in the mansion falling over their feet.
Logan had pride, and there was NO way on Gods green and blue earth that he was going to stop a drooling Kitty and ask her about the Xavier's latest addition.
Between the smell and the mutant with the charm of every boy band to have existed, Logan was having a shitty day.
Trying to ignore Jubilee as she sauntered over and collapsed on the chair opposite him, he poked at his mincy mess again, feigning interest in a noodle that was busy escaping over the side of his plate.
She swayed her head side to side, up and down, trying to get into his line of sight. His eyes remained unfocused and glued on his plate. Jubes gave up trying to get his attention, but on second thoughts, she couldn't resist the temptation. One look at the moping Logan and her mouth was open.
"So," she smirked, "how's the chicken?"
That was it. Logan cracked, "I fucking smelt chicken. . . OKAY. I still do." His noodle went flying of his fork and hit Jubes with a wet smack on her forehead.
He tried to get his rage under control as Jubes froze in her seat trying not to laugh, pulling the sticky noodle form her head and tossing it onto Scott's lap.
"Okay." She started to munch on her food as Logan finally stopped glaring at her and began to eat his own.
"So," she tried again another topic, "have you heard about the new guy. . . " She continued cheerfully, stopping when she noticed the strange shade of red Logan's face had turned.
"Ah Wolvie?"
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHH."
THE COLONELS SECRET TAUNTING
"Logan. Will you please report to my office. I have someone here I would like you to meet."
Logan jerked up in surprise and bumped his head on the kitchen fridge as he searched for KFC.
"For fucks sake,. . . HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO ASK FOR YOU TO STOP MENTALLY BEEPING ME!!"
Storm's tea wobbled in her cup as her body stiffened in fright then relaxed again at the sudden outburst.
Logan looked at her from his cross-legged position on the floor, surrounded by lettuce and a few beyond due date Bulgarian yoghurts.
"What?"
"Nothing." Storm went back to her Cosmo 'What your dental plague and flossing habits say about you' test, and sipped her tea.
Logan growled, threw the lettuce back on top of the defrosted tofu, and marched out the kitchen to the Professors Office.
FROM THE COOKING PAN
The Professor was never really sure if it was his mental powers picking up Logan before he threw open his heavily panelled oak office door, or if his ever present black cloud that even a 2 month dead, psi-deaf armadillo could pick up on.
He would have to ask Jean about that.
He sent a reassuring smile to his newest student and looked benignly toward the stunned Logan who had frozen in place as he had come stomping in.
Scott was still looking at him disapprovingly while Jean showed no facial expressions at all. . . he would have to talk to her about that too.
"Logan. I wish you to meet our newest student and teammate. Mr. Boo," Xavier said proudly and watched as Boo turned around in the squeaky leather chair to face Logan before standing up and offering a hand.
Logan stood dumbfounded.
Xavier wondered what was the matter. Did Logan know Boo from somewhere? He was about to send a mental touch and ask Logan if everything was all right, when. . .
"But he is a GIANT CHICKEN!" Logan sputtered.
Xavier heard Jeans Gasp and Scott's grunt of annoyance. "Logan. Apologise immediately to Mr Boo. Everyone is welcome in my school, past indiscretions aside."
"BUT HE'S A CHICKEN!" Logan pointed and begun to laugh.
"Logan!" Jean put on her best disapproving tone of voice, the one she kept for special occasions and queue jumping. "No one has any right to laugh at anyones mutations. I never expected this from you."
"Okay I get it. . . cute one. Shapeshifter right? We finally have someone to beat Mystique at her own game."
Logan grinned.
Boo dropped his hand and glanced around at everyone around him.
Logan was still chuckling while the rest of his peers glared at him.
The laughing stopped.
Logan could swear that the temperature had just dropped by 20 degrees.
"You're not kidding, are you?" He felt quite ill. "You really don't know he's a chicken."
Xavier cleared his throat and wheeled around back to his desk, "Logan, I want you to help Boo get acquainted with the rest of the team, and to start him on a danger room sequence." Logan's mouth fell, "And then I want you and Scott to get him a uniform."
"But, but, but, but. . . . He's a chicken." Logan replied weakly. "A giant chicken."
"Logan." Scott warned.
"Who wears a disguise to look like human guys." He added on.
"LOGAN!" Scott snapped.
"Fine fine. Whatever. . . ill get 'Boo' here acquainted. . . " He relented. "And then maybe introduce him to my secret blend of herbs and spices."
He stormed out before Xavier could mentally toss his biggest leather bound book at his head.
Boo bobbed a little bow to the Professor before quickly walking out after Logan.
Jean sighed a sigh of relief. "I never thought Logan would react like that. He's normally quite reserved."
"You aren't going to let him go with all that name calling are you Professor." Scott demanded. "Calling him a giant chicken."
"Maybe Logan's animal sense can pick up things our normal senses cannot. Or, maybe Logan knows Boo from another time, dimension, Marvel plot or something equally bizarre. I'll have to ponder this. In the meantime, I need Boo and Logan to get on. We need all the X-men we can muster before the Spring Ball hall decorating begins. It will be a trying time, but we need those banners up."
A BRIEF INTERLUDE FOR POPCORN
Time went by quickly and the Spring Ball was a success, except for that brief incident concerning the punch bowl and Jean. . . but that's another story.
Logan eventually got over Boo.
Eventually.
Glaring, muttering, casually placing drawings of chickens around the mansion where people could accidentally find them, all earned Logan stern reprimands form his fellow teammates and not a few nasty glares from Scott, who had taken Boo under his tutelage.
As he watched Boo peck at the corn kernels he had earlier scattered upon the basket ball court, he finally accepted the fact that no one was listening to him. Scott was totally oblivious to the fact as he lost his cool and told Logan to grow up. This was happening as Logan tried to point out the fact that Boo was currently bobbing up and down for chicken feed.
Boo showed much promise in becoming an X-man.
Rapidly rising in the ranks to be placed in the Alpha team, earning a Danger room record that made even Logan impressed, Boo was a force to be reckoned with.
"But he is still a Giant Chicken," growled Logan, as Boo yet again refused the chicken casserole that cook had spent ages on, causing much eyebrow raising and "I told you sos" form Logan, which everyone ignored, for the thought of a giant barnyard fowl in the ranks of Xavier's institute was to ridicules to even comprehend.
And, sooner than they thought, it was time for Boo's very first X-men mission with the team
THE BLACKBIRD HAS WATTLES
"ACHOOOOooooo!!!"
Sitting at the back of the Blackbird, Logan watched as Jean's hand slowly ran down the back of her neck and wiped off Storm's body fluids.
"'Cuse me." Storm muttered before yet another lengthy blow into her tissue.
Logan had a bet going with Gambit on how much longer that tissue would last. Things you didn't realize about the leather issue uniforms of the X-men, yes they looked good, but they didn't have much room for necessities.
Jean finished wiping her hand off on her leg, "Blood, I've had blood on here, snot is nothing compared to Toad slime," she muttered before turning around to face Storm.
"I thought you were only allergic to feathers and Asian beer?"
"I am," Storm slurped.
Jean exaggerated looking around the cabin of the jet. "Well I don't see any feathers. And, unless Logan's built a brewery back there, I honestly think you should come see me about having another test done."
Strom nodded weakly and began to ask around for another tissue as her's dissolved.
Gambit handed Logan $2.
Meanwhile Scott patiently taught Boo the complexities of flying the Blackbird to a mission, and the best ways to land to extract a curse from the Wolverine.
OH..PUCK!
A lot can be said about that mission's final battle.
The way Wolverine dislocated Sabretooth's shoulders, both at the same time. The way Storm and Toad spent half of the mission name-calling. When Mystique morphed into a Wolverine look-a-like, went one-on-one with him, making Cyclops have to decide on which was the real Logan before shooting a laser. . . .at the wrong one anyway. The way Wolverine kicked his ass after the mission..But that's another story.
But the thing that stuck most in everyone's minds, including the brotherhoods, was Boo.
He attacked with a vengeance, even Sabretooth, after his shoulders had popped back in and Wolverine was busy beating up his Mystique double. His claws slashed in and out..He fought with a dedication and style that only could be called beauty, Until. . .
***
Magneto concentrated his powers and lifted the small metal shavings off the floor and sent them hurtling across the room like bullets.
He was concentrating so much that he failed to notice the shadow, which floated down from the gangwalk above.
Rogue lifted the wooden plank and threw it at Magneto's head, sending him collapsing to the floor like a puppet whose strings had just been broken. Dropping the plank she wiped her hands together and looked around at her teammates who where just busy finishing off their bad guys for the days mission.
Logan kicked Mystique in head again and looked up to hovering Rogue, "Hey Rogue. . . I liked the whaping noise Magsies head made. Wanna do it again?" He grinned, and eyed a metal pylon lying near by. Rogue was about to agree, grinning ear to ear, when a stern noise of disapproval came from the fearless leaders direction, "No. He has learnt his lesson today."
"Oh..right.. His lesson." Wolverine dropped a still smouldering cigar on Sabretooth's prone unconscious body as he walked past and glared at the equally prone Cyclops.
Cyclops ignored Wolverine and started to check for the rest of the Team.
Jean. Isn't she beautiful. . . hey baby (small wave).
Storm. Still sniffing.
Wolverine. Still in his face, glaring.
Rogue. Still grinning at her clever move.
Gambit. Going through Magneto's pockets.
Boo???
Where was Boo???
"Boo?" He called,
"OH MY GOD, Jean come quickly!" It was Rogue, who had now landed on the far side of the warehouse and was gesturing to the floor.
The team ran towards her, skidding to a halt when they finally saw what was the problem.
On the ground, next to a wall riddled with Magnetos bullet shrapnel, laid Boo.
"Is he-" Asked Strom in an unfinished question.
Jean knelt down to feel for his pulse, quickly stepping back as a groggy Boo stood up.
"He's all right" Scott practically crowed in delight.
Boo looked around dazed and stepped forward to his beaming teammates.
An audible collective gasp was heard as his uniform fell from him in tattered shreds. The shrapnel missing him, but cutting the leather into ribbons.
Boo blinked as the X-men stared.
"Told you so." Logan stated smugly.
A small feather slowly drifted to the ground.
"Puck?" said Boo.
Scott fainted.
"OH MY GOD. . . HE'S A GIANT CHICKEN!!!!" Jean practically screamed.
Gambit handed Logan $20.
***
Boo was never seen again after that night.
The X-Men gave him a lift home after they dragged Scott aboard the Blackbird and sedated Jean. Xavier had decided that it was best if Boo left the mansion as many of the children actually enjoyed Kentucky Fried Chicken and might find it awkward with him in the same lounge.
3 YEARS LATER
"Ahhhh, Mr. President, we have a request from an Xavier's Institute on Mutant registration rights. . . can I let him in?"
"Puck"
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