Moment of Weakness
by
Elizabeth Wilde
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters. They are all copyright... Marvel and/or Twentieth Century Fox and possibly even other places or people. Point is, not mine. I make no money from this site and I don't have any to give, so there's no point in suing.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: "Driving Force" was supposed to come first, but this one just sort of got stuck in my brain and refused to let go. Persistent little bugger. The song is "The Weakness in Me" by Joan Armatrading. Awesome song.
I'm not the sort of person
Who falls in and quickly out of love,
But to you I gave my affection
Right from the start.
Logan stared at Jean without reserve. No matter how pretty she looked in his memory, it could never compare to the woman before him, and he'd missed her every second he'd been away. Her clothes were the usual mix of professional and sexy, the knee-length skirt stirred by the slight breeze outside the school. //Love those slits on the skirt...// "Hey."
Coming out of whatever state of shock his sudden appearance had brought on, Jean smiled and stepped closer. Her hair seemed redder, more fiery in the sunlight. "I didn't expect you back so soon."
"Didn't find much." //I couldn't stay away.// "Besides, I missed this place." //I missed you.//
"Look at you..." Jean's hand gently grazed his now-bare cheek.
Without thinking, Logan caught her hand, releasing it a moment later with a shrug. "Like it? I got tired of lookin' like I just got off a drinking binge."
She smiled and let her hand fall back to her side. "You look good."
Trying not to let on how much the compliment meant, Logan replied, "Thanks." Without thinking, he stepped closer. "I missed you."
Jean looked down, a blush creeping over her cheeks. "Logan-"
He lifted her chin with one finger and kissed her, gently at first, unsure of her reaction. For a few seconds, he honestly expected to be slapped senseless. To his surprise, her hands were soon in his hair and she was holding him as close as he was her. The sensation of actually doing what he had imagined so many times was overwhelming: her touch, her scent, her warmth all surrounded him.
And then it was over. Jean stood a few feet away, hand covering her mouth, mumbling something to the effect of "I'm sorry" and backing away. Logan reached out for her, but she disappeared into the school.
//Damn. Knew it couldn't be that easy.//
I have a lover who loves me.
How could I break such a heart?
Yet still you get my attention.
Scott slid the auto repair book back into its place on the shelf and glanced out the window, doing a double-take when he saw Jean talking with a familiar man. //I know him from... Logan!//
He felt his chest constrict when he saw Jean's hand reaching out to touch Logan's bare cheek. //Chill out, Scott. It's a perfectly innocent gesture. You trust Jean even if you'd rather blast Logan than have him anywhere near her.// Scott forced back the little voice warning him that he should trust his gut instinct, that nothing involving Logan could ever be innocent. //Why am I watching this? I'm not that insecure, am I? Guess so.//
Suddenly Logan moved closer to Jean. Scott knew with perfect clarity what he intended. //But Jean's gonna stop him.// She remained in place, though Scott could see her glance down at the ground before Logan lifted her chin. //C'mon, Jeannie, stop him.// Before Scott's mind could process the fact that Jean had yet to back away, Logan kissed her. //I'm gonna kill him!// And Jean kissed him back. Scott could see her arms sliding around his neck.
He fell back into the desk chair, almost unable to breathe, heart still to the point of stopping. //She kissed him.// He repeated the phrase over and over silently, not trusting his eyes alone. Finally, Jean did pull away, shaking her head and covering her mouth with her hand. Scott saw her retreating toward the school and rose, jaw set and muscles tight. //Might as well get this over with.//
This old love
Has me bound
But new love cuts deep.
If I choose now
I'll lose out;
One of you has to fall
I need you
And you.
Jean staggered into the school, mind reeling. She could almost feel Logan's lips on hers, and it wasn't helping anything. Suddenly Jean knew she wasn't alone in the hallway. "Scott!" It came out as more of an exclamation than she'd intended, and she knew her voice was as unsteady as she felt. "What is it?" //Oh, God, he knows.//
"I was at the window."
She felt her breath catch in her throat. "Oh, God... Scott-"
"Don't." Reaching out, he took her left hand and slid off the engagement ring that rested there. "You're free. Do whatever you want." Tears ran from under his ruby-tinted glasses and he turned away.
//Stop standing here like an idiot. You're losing him!// "Scott! Wait!"
He shook his head and hurried down the hall, sending, //Don't, Jean. Not now.//
Jean fled to the first place she thought of, Xavier's office. He was helping certain students with an experiment elsewhere, and she needed to be alone quickly. As soon as she shoved open the door, Jean fell against the nearest wall, letting the door slide shut on its own. //Why did I let this happen?// Tears flowed down her face and she fought to get a grip on her own thoughts. //What am I feeling? Why can I tell everyone else what's happening in their mind and not my own?//
The door clicked open and she jumped with a gasp. Xavier entered the room, brow furrowed. "Jean? What is it? I could feel your distress halfway across the school." Unable to speak, she held out her bare left hand, the pale band of skin where the engagement ring used to be painfully apparent. "I see. What happened?"
Before Jean could answer, the door opened again and Logan stepped inside. Instantly, Xavier's expression became one of understanding, his suspicions confirmed when Jean gazed steadfastly at the carpet beneath her feet rather than look at Logan. "Could you return later? I believe we need a moment."
"Yeah. Sure. I just wanted to make sure Jean's okay."
"She will be." With a tight nod, Logan ducked out again. "I see. I'm not going to ask what happened. I can figure out enough without knowing the specifics." His tone wasn't accusing or angry, merely maddeningly rational. "What do you intend to do?"
"I don't... I... Professor, how am I supposed to decide anything when I can't..." Jean took a deep breath and tried desperately to clear her head. "I just want to be still."
"Perhaps you should gather some things together. There is a room down the far hall that is more or less isolated. Might that help?"
Jean nodded and swallowed past the roughness of her throat. "Yes." //I hope.//
Epilogue
A soft knock at the door pulled Jean out of the light meditative state she'd managed to attain after two hours of controlled breathing and consciously clearing her mind. She rose with a sigh, padding to the door in her socks and long nightshirt. "Who is it?"
"Me."
//Logan. Shit.// Jean opened the door just enough to look through the crack. "Look, this isn't-"
"Yeah." He nodded his agreement. "Just wanted to say... just..." Jean had never seen Logan look nervous before and never so uncomfortable. His hazel eyes finally lifted to hers. "I just want you to know it's more than just the kiss, alright? But whatever you decide, if you decide, it doesn't change the way I feel." Nodding as if to confirm his own statement, Logan walked away without another word.
Jean closed the door, face blank, and went back to bed.
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