Someone Like Logan
by
Elektra
DISCLAIMER: Logan belongs to Marvel, Fox, etc. I'm pretty sure Hugh belongs to himself. Ashley belongs to herself.
DISTRIBUTION: If you would like permission to archive this story, please email: wxfonline@yahoo.com.
OFFICIAL WEBSITE ADDRESS: http://www.wxfonline.com/hominus
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Continuing to screw with the timeline. Whee, it's fun.
AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: Yes, I've read too many interviews. I am a sad, sad fan girl.
"I'm supposed to wear this?" Logan asked, clearly disgusted by the pair of black micro-briefs he held in his hand.
"Yes," Lindsey said, rolling her eyes. The man really was getting to be too much.
*If I have to pay for a fleet of security guards out of my own pay check it'll be preferable to working with this, this heathen!*
"Uh huh," Logan said, clearly amused.
"What is it now?" Lindsey exclaimed. "When we did Oklahoma! It was the singing and the dancing. When we were on Saturday Night Live, it was the script. When we shot X-Men you didn't like the characterizations. What the hell is the problem with the costume?"
"Yer gonna have a stroke, ya know that right?"
"Just answer the damn question!"
"On the rag, huh?" Logan asked, nodding knowingly. In his mind, this explained a lot. Hell, when you live with more than a half dozen women, you better learn to do two things. Number one, read the signs and number two, duck. Logan rolled his shoulder, turned his head and gracefully evaded the glossy red missile she threw at him.
The cellular phone clattered to the floor, losing the cover to its battery compartment in the process.
"My phone!"
Logan rolled his eyes. This woman got nuttier every time he saw her. Was that even humanly possible? Shit, she had a tendency of showin' more personalities than Rogue on a bad day.
"Look you," she said, gesturing at him with the now permanently disabled telephone. "I've had just about enough. I know Hugh likes keeping you around for, well, I don't know why the hell he likes keeping you around. But, I'm warning you. If you screw this up today. If so much as one thing goes wrong, that's it, you're fired! Savvy?"
Logan snorted. Now she was trying to scare him with his own words.
"Look, Lady, you seem to be missing out on one key thing. I don't need to be here. I got money. I got transportation and I got a place to stay. I'm doing this as a favor."
"Maybe we don't need your kind of favors."
"Fine," Logan said, as he dropped the shorts on the makeup counter and walked over to retrieve his jacket from the peg on the wall, "tell Hugh I hope he catches the guy."
He withdrew the keys to his motorcycle from his jacket pocket and started walking toward the door.
"Wait! You can't just leave. You're scheduled to shoot two scenes today!"
"Look lady, will ya make up yer fucking mind? Ya just told me to get lost and now yer whining about filming scenes. Wait 'til Hugh feels better and film them with him," he said, walking out the dressing room door.
As he made his way down the hallway, Logan began to feel guilty. He'd made a promise to the actor and his wife that he'd stick this through 'til they found the creep who was stalking him. He was going back on his word and that didn't sit well with him. Maybe he could do a little recon and find the guy the old fashioned way?
"Wait, Mr. Logan, come back here! I'll pay you double if you just shoot your scenes today. You can leave right after, I promise."
Logan paused, considering her offer.
"Triple it," he said.
"Done!"
* * * * *
"Okay Logan," the director said, "we just need you to hop up on the counter for one last take."
Logan boosted himself up and pivoted around to face away from the camera.
"Ashley, if you could- Ashley, stop smiling like that, you aren't supposed to be that comfortable standing around in your underwear."
The actress blushed, having been caught stealing a glimpse at Logan's goodies. It wasn't her fault the button had popped off his boxer shorts -- four takes ago.
*Not that you actually bothered to tell anyone*
* * * * *
This is nice, I could get used to this, Logan thought as he snuggled closer to the woman on the bed beside him. He kept his eye closed for a moment, silently pretending it was Jean's body heat he could feel, her perfume he could smell, the soft brush of her hair on his face. Yeah, he thought, I could do this, easy.
Logan slowly opened his eyes and peered down at the woman beside him. There she lay, her face composed in an innocent replication of slumber. His lips quirked in a miniature facsimile of a smile. Innocent, my eye, he thought.
He brushed his face lightly against her hair and drew in deeply. Yeah, her perfume was nice, but it wasn't Jeannie's. He shifted back on the bed and closed his eyes, signaling his co-star to begin her performance.
He felt her begin to squirm against him, trying in vain to easily slip out of his grasp. Nah, he thought, ain't gonna be that easy. When she threatened to get away, he casually flung his right arm across her, his hand closing around her right breast. She tensed at the unexpected contact and he struggled to maintain his passive expression. As she began to move again, he couldn't help himself. "That's for the boxers," Logan muttered into the pillow case and stifled a grin as he felt her quickly pull out from under his grasp.
* * * * *
"You do not go around feeling up Hugh's co-stars," Lindsey exclaimed, her face turning an alarming shade of purple.
Logan shrugged.
"It isn't my fault she spent all afternoon staring at my dick. Hell, I always give as good as I get."
Lindsey stared at him, her mouth working in a decent replication of a koi fish.
"What. Did. You. Just. Say?"
"I always give as good as I get."
"No, before that," she said impatiently.
"I said she spent all afternoon staring at my dick, which she did."
Lindsey stared at him, blinking silently.
"And just when did this figment of your imagination happen?"
He smiled smugly. She really was a bitch.
"This afternoon while we were shooting. I tried to tell you those things were too small but you wouldn't listen."
Logan chuckled. He didn't know it was really possible for a person to turn green, well, discounting a certain mutant with a prehensile tongue.
* * * * *
"Hey, sorry it didn't work out. I don't think I was meant to be a leading man," Logan said with a grin. "What say I just work security detail and leave the thespian stuff to you? Yeah, sure, that I can do. Uh huh. She wants a woman for the next one? Halle Berry type? Yeah, I've got the perfect woman for the job. Nudity? Believe me, not a problem. Yeah, okay, I'll see you in two months for Kate and whatshisname."
Logan put down the phone and walked out of the Professor's office. He needed to see a woman about a movie.
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